Typing it out

Just a quick post to let you know I haven’t disappeared, entirely.  It’s been a busy week and yet it hasn’t.  Just been doing the usual stuff, Work, Girl Scouts, Work, Boy Scouts, Work and more Scouts.

Trevor had his pinewood derby today, or I guess yesterday since it’s after midnight.  It was pretty good, Trevor looked like he had a blast so it made everything worth while.  But I’ll discuss that later tomorrow (or today).  And I don’t really have anything to talk about now.  To be honest, I’m just kind of typing.  I feel like I have something to say and I hope it’ll just come out.

I guess it’s a good thing I don’t really have a whole lot of people interested in reading this blog so I can do a post about nothing.  Hey, it worked for Seinfeld didn’t it.  And just so you have my stance on Seinfeld, there were some hilarious episodes, but all in all, I didn’t really care for it.  I’ve caught episodes here and there, some awesome (“I WAS IN THE POOL”) and some pretty stupid ones.

Cheri has been struggling with her MS and other crap.  Between the fatigue kicking her ass most days and the pain in her backass, I wonder how she functions.  But she keeps pushing through it, usually for too long.  Today was a little rough on her.  The pinewood derby lasted about 5 hours, including lunch, so we brought her wheelchair in so she could sit somewhat comfortably.  It certainly isn’t comfortable, but better than those chairs they had there.  The worse part for her, I think, was some of the meds had made her sick, she had to go to the restroom because she thought she was going to throw up.  It eventually passed, but it certainly wasn’t fun for her.  She suffered through it like the trooper she is.  Then we get home and her daughter was up to her usual crap.  So basically Cheri dealt with heat and stress, like most days.  I did realize today why it bothers me so much that Skyler walks all over Cheri.  One of the attractions I have towards Cheri when we met was that she didn’t generally take crap from anyone.  She doesn’t go looking for confrontations and will try to avoid them, but she won’t back down from one if brought to her.  I like a woman with some backbone.  So when Skyler talks down to Cheri and Cheri backs down, it tears at my heart some.  Skyler takes advantage of her mom’s condition because Cheri has to avoid stress so she just backs down and in turn, Skyler gets whatever she wants.  She’ll be off to college soon and I guess I’m a bad parent because I’ll be glad when she’s gone.  She’s probably the main stress in Cheri’s life right now.  That and money which seems to be a big stresser lately as well.  But I’m not going into that today either.

I’m also having trouble getting over the fact that Cheri just thinks I like to get Skyler in trouble.  I asked a awhile back if she thinks I care about Skyler or I just like to get her in trouble.  I never got a response, which of course, tells me her response.  I told her if she thinks I won’t be following my own kids and trying to catch them in lies like I did with Skyler, then she doesn’t know me very well.  Because I will be on them like I was her.

So basically I can’t help her with the heat, as much as I would like to control the weather, I can’t.  And I can’t help her with her stress, I only make so much money and she won’t let me help with her daughter.  So for me, caregiver means helping with chores, rubbing her neck and backass and just being here for everything else.  I can’t help with her 2 main stressers.  So I guess I get a fail in the caregiver department.

So what we learned in the last 2 paragraphs is I suck at being a step-father, and I suck at being a caregiver.  Hooray is my life.

I guess I did have something to say.  Good thing my next post is about the pinewood derby, I promise it’ll be more positive than this one.  Maybe I should just go to bed.