Thursday, June 9, 2011

I love my wife

I know, everyone says that.  But I mean it too.  Not only does she take care of this family.  But she does it all with MS (Multiple Sclerosis).  She’s probably had it for years even though she was just diagnosed a few weeks ago.  She was diagnosed with other things before so through all that time, she was on meds that would help for a month or two, then stop helping.  Well, now we know why.  They weren’t treating the right disease.  It sucks that the diagnose was that, but our hope is, now that we know what it is, maybe she can get the proper help.

Even though she doesn’t sleep worth a crap at night (I still say it’s because she’s in bed with me).  She wakes up every morning and wakes me up.  And for the last few weeks that’s been at 4:20 am.  Then she tries to sleep a little bit before having to get up to get my two kids (8 yrs. & 6 yrs.) up for school.  Takes Samantha to school, comes home and then takes Skyler to school, then comes home for a few hours before taking Trevor to school.  In between all that, she’s making sure they are fed and looking good.  Then a couple hours afterwards she picks up Samantha and Trevor.  All this while some days she can barely move without pain, days where her head hurts so bad she looks drugged, days where she’s so exhausted, it’s all she can do to just get up to go to the bathroom.  Then after everyone is home, she makes supper.  Not always just 1 supper as Skyler doesn’t eat meat so she cooks 2 meals for us.  But that isn’t all I love about her.

She is so strong, when she feels so weak.  So smart, even though she feels like her mind is failing her.  So loving, when all she feels is pain.  She has taken this diagnosis in stride and just keeps plugging along.  She complains about the pain, who wouldn’t, but she never says “Why did this happen to me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?”  She just keeps going and tries to do all she can.  I have to tell her to stop and I get on her all the time for not asking for help.  I have to tell her it’s ok to not go to the kids games because it’s 100 degrees out.  That it’s ok to sit on your butt once in awhile and just take it easy.

The worst part is the rest of us in the house take advantage of her and she lets us.  The kids are horrible about this, but I don’t think all 3 have a clue what she deals with on a daily basis.  2 are just too young to understand, and the other is afraid to admit that it’s happening to her mother.  Even I’m guilty of this, I try to help out and I think I do help some, but she always does things for me that I could do for myself.  I tell her to leave it for me, but I know she won’t.  I need to just take over and do it for myself.

I won’t even get into what she deals with emotionally with dealing with certain family members of hers, or either of our exes, and even myself and the kids.  The whole time she deals with those emotional rollercoasters, she deals with this ugly disease.  But I believe that things will get better, because I can’t see why this awesome woman was brought into our lives, just to suffer with pain and anxiety.  I see her strength fighting this disease the whole time.  And I will be by her side the whole way.

So in closing, I love my wife, not only for the love she shows me but for the strength she shows everyone else.  She doesn’t even have a clue how strong she is, and I love her for that.  My job as her husband is to make sure she knows how special she is to me.  I don’t always show it, that’s my flaw.   A flaw she more than makes up for with all the ways she shows me that she loves me.  I will try to live up to her expectations because it’s the least I can do for my wife, the love of my life, my everything.  My heart and soul belongs to her.

I love my wife!

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Quick humor

Just something real quick before I head to bed.


How can you not laugh at that.


I love this because my daughter has an iPhone and while I’ll admit they are great phones, the fact that it has cost me more money than my wife and I’s droids because everything that goes with it has to be “apple”.  I haven’t paid for 1 app on my phone but she’s had to buy a few of them that were free to Droids.  Not to mention the jacked up chargers you have to pay $20+ because it has to be an “apple” charger.  I can get one for my droid at dollar general.  I hate things where the only thing that goes with them is there stuff.  Purchase our item, it’s the best.  Then have the small print saying, but it’ll keep costing you bit by bit until you smarten up and buy something else.



Don’t they know Taco Bell isn’t real mexican food.  Mexican’s don’t eat there.


Always good advice, but I hear that’s where lawyers come from.


Ya might want to look behind you.  Better yet, that face your making, you may not want to publish this pic.  Oh wait, too late, never mind.


He really likes the weather.


I’m heading off to bed now, hope I made you at least smile.  Sorry about the lack of posts recently but I’ve been exhausted with working a bunch of overtime.  Till next time.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Deadbeat parents

I started to write deadbeat dads up there without even thinking about it.   But that just isn't a fair assumption.  Deadbeat moms isn't something you ever hear.  I know plenty of kids who are in custody of their mothers and the father is a much better parent to the child.  And I'm not talking about the person who just is a great parent because they actually spend time with the child.   I'm talking about the parent who takes time to teach them right from wrong.  Who takes time to show the kids they love them.  Who takes the time to teach the kids to grow up properly.  Who makes sure the kids are clean and well fed.  Who gives them the best possible chance at excelling in everything they do.

Why the courts believe that the mother is always the best option is beyond me.  My brother had a custody battle and he had video and visual proof that she doesn't care about the kids.  He was sending them to a really good school, paying for all their clothes, being the great father that he is.  She got up, lied her ass off about supporting the kids and won custody.  Where the kids were afraid to go to school and had the right to be afraid.   Why did she win?  Well, she's the mother.  There was not one negative thing proved against my brother, and she still won.   The justice system is set up to favor the mother.  You have to prove her "unfit".  Why don't you have to prove the father "unfit"?  If he has custody, shouldn't she have to prove him unfit to take them back?  Nope, that's not how it works in todays courts.

Why am I against the system even though I have custody of my children?  My divorce and custody was between my ex and I, the only thing we did in the courts was file paperwork.  No lawyers, no judge, no court.  Everything was agreed upon before hand.  It was joint custody at the time as we were splitting the time equally.  But I filed all the paperwork so the judge gave me physical custody with joint custody on visitation.   My ex and I had verbally agreed that since I carried the insurance, that she would pay any copays on office visits and medicine and we would split any bigger bills.  Once I moved a little further away and enrolled them in the school system I wanted them in, she fussed about it.  But I had physical custody so there wasn't much she could do.  She started to see them less as she moved further away.  Now I had them every day during the week and she had them every other weekend.  When she started dropping them off late on her Sundays, I asked her what the deal was.  She complained she never got to see them anymore.  So I agreed she could have them every weekend unless I needed them for something.  I also told her if she gave me some notice, she could pick them up anytime during the week as well.  That's the arrangement we have now although she never stops by during the week.  After she moved away further, it became harder and harder for me to get money from her.  She won't hold down a job long enough for her to even contemplate giving me any.  I had to go get Medicaid because she stopped paying the medical all together.  The doctors office said we couldn't use them anymore if the bill wasn't paid.  So I went in and had them add everything that was mine and the kids and paid it all off so we could continue there.  Then we have the van that got repossessed.  She was driving it, it was in my name so I had to make the payments until I couldn't anymore.  Now I'm stuck making weekly payments on a vehicle I no longer own.  I could give you a whole list of things that she's done as far as no discipline, or no heigene, or no bedtime, or no rules whatsoever.  But for now, let me leave it at, she's a deadbeat mom.

We are dealing with a few exes right now.  The one father we won't even discuss because he has nothing to do with his kid since she was young and hasn't paid any support in forever as well.  The other ex, thinks because he gives his son $100/month spending cash, that he shouldn't have to pay support.  Sounds like a winner, right? But wait.  He has other kids that he lives in the same area as him, that he hasn't ever seen.  One son he just met last week after 19 years.  Why the son wants anything to do with him now is beyond me.  How you can call yourself a father when you don't see your kids is something I can't fathom.  I just don't understand how you can turn your back on your child.  I would be devastated if I didn't see my kids.
What started this long winded blog was that I finally have a court date set to receive support.  It's not for a few months though and I'm just waiting for something to happen.  I've always been afraid of her taking me to court for custody.  Even though I know I am far better suited to take care of my kids, I worry about losing them because I don't trust the system.  I am not a deadbeat.  I can not lose my kids.  I will be devastated.  So I'm crossing my fingers and hoping against everything, that we will get through this without being torn apart.

Parents influence

For those of you who don't think you influence your kids, let me give you an example that you do.  My brother and I, and 2 cousins who are essentially 2 more brothers all grew up together for a time and to this day are close, even though with some there is distance (700 miles or so).  3 of us love baseball, 1 of us can't stand baseball.  The 3 of us who love baseball, all have kids that play.  For the purpose of this blog entry, I'm going to exclude stepkids because we weren't around when they were young.  I believe all were in high school before they came into the family.  Kevin's kid plays every chance he gets. Phil's got 3 kids playing and a 4th starting next year. I have both my kids playing. Then there is my brother, hates baseball.  And coincidentally, neither of his kids play.  Now I know my brother, and if they wanted to play, he would sign them up.  But since they aren't exposed to it at all, there is no desire.  Which also leads me to believe that if your wife complains you watch to much baseball, tell her your just exposing your kids to a sport they could possibly love.
So if you can influence your kids about the sports you love, imagine your influence on them when you show them your love.  Think about it.