Tuesday, March 6, 2012

My stripper daughter

Last night, I did my weekly Monday night and spent an hour with my daughter at Girl Scouts.  I sat down with a couple of the other mom’s and declared our table the Mom Table.  Then I had to argue with my daughter that for the next hour, I was her mother.  She said I didn’t have enough hair to be a mother.  Smart ass, I don’t know where she gets that.

Anyways, I usually enjoy my Girl Scout night as opposed to the Boy Scout night because I enjoy hanging with the mother’s.  We all get together and bash our ex’s.  Boy Scout night, most of the father’s sit at different tables by themselves so I usually end up playing around on my phone.  I took my Kindle once and got the Wifi password from one of the kids but apparently the school shuts the Wifi off at night, so I’m stuck with the phone.  I’d much rather bash the ex’s like one of the girls.  It’s the one night I get to let my hair down and hang out with my girlfriends.  Sorry, got back into Girl Scouts night and thought I was a mom.

The funniest part of the evening was on the way home.  I don’t remember what we were talking about but my 9 year old daughter told me she wanted to be a pole dancer.

“Uh what?”

“Yeah”, she says, “so does my brother.”


“What exactly do you think a pole dancer does?”

“They dance, with a pole”

“That’s not quite all they do honey”

“What else do they do?”

“Well, they generally take their clothes off for money”

“What?”  Apparently it’s her turn to be confused.  “Why would they take their clothes off for money?”

“Because some people will pay to see you naked”

“That’s disgusting”

“Well now you understand my concern with you being a pole dancer”

“I don’t want to be a pole dancer”

“That’s good, I don’t want you to be one either.”

Now I’m sure there is pole dancing that doesn’t involve stripping for money, but that’s the first thing that comes to mind and I don’t really want her going to school and say “My dad said I could be a pole dancer”  I know, some of you probably think I gave too much information.  But, the way the world is nowadays, I would rather have her learn this stuff from me than some kid on the playground.  So while I do try to keep her finding out this stuff, I don’t really lie to her.  If it’s something I really want to avoid then that’s exactly what I do, I avoid it.  But it has to be something that I think she won’t have to really deal with for years to come.  I’m already pretty sure I’ll have to give her the “period” talk considering when I met her mother, I had to explain to her why she bleed once a moth.  And yes, she was 20 years old when I had that conversation with her.  See what I deal with?

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