Dating Netflix

I got on Netflix to see if they had a certain show that I wanted to check out.  I ended up forgetting what I was going to look up before I got it loaded up so I can’t tell you the show or if they have it.  But apparently Netflix is having just as many issues as I am.

I circled the date that I apparently viewed movies that I never heard of and at the bottom right, you can see today’s date.  Those movies may have actually been watched, just not by us.  Apparently Netflix got a jump start on drinking for the weekend.

And while I have you here, I was at work talking with a friend of mine who is fighting cancer.  We were talking about his blood being so thin because of the treatments.  He said that if he cuts himself shaving, it bleeds for 5 hours.  My sensitive side came out and I said “Your periods must be rough.”

I’m an asshole.  I can’t help it.  But he and I usually give it to each other so it’s all in jest.  It’s mainly for shock factor on the people listening in, their faces are priceless.

Weird work day

I had a weird day at work.  I had just got done with break and was heading back to the line when my foreman stopped me.

Him - “Can you jump?”

Me - “What?”

Him - “Can you jump?”

Me - “I guess, why?”

Him - “Can you jump up and grab the ticket off the back of the carrier?”

Me - “I suppose, I used to back when I was on the floor (13 years ago)”

So I jumped, and fell short.  Crap!  No wait, let me try again.  This time I actually tried, and still fell short.  And my phone flew out of my pocket onto the floor.  Son of a bitch!

Me - “Like I don’t feel fat enough, thanks for making me feel like shit about my fat ass again”

Him – “They did add about 6 inches to that height since last time you tried.”

Me – “Oh yeah, that’s totally why I couldn’t get it.”

Him – “Sure it is.”

Me – “Bite me.  Dick.”

Then later on, I was on another break and the plant manager walks in and starts to tell me about his prostate surgery.  Explains that the prostate is 28 grams and his was 42 grams and they went in there and removed all the extra.  Even explained that they cut some ring and it eventually grows back.  He lost me, I was trying to block him out but be polite.  What the hell is going on here?  He doesn’t even like me, why is he telling me about his prostate?  I don’t even like to talk about it getting checked.  WTF?

WTF Did They Just Say #6

I really need to change this from WTF Did They Just Say? to Reasons I Will Never Advance at my company.

That’s right, this edition is all me again.  I try to avoid people so I don’t ever hear anyone say anything for these.  First some backstory, you all know that management changed our hours to 12 hour days.  Well, specifically, it was all the plant manager’s doing.

His kids go to the school I graduated from (Penn) so I’ve seen him a few times at high school events, mostly football games.  He walks up to me and says “You going to the Penn game tonight?”  I was actually asked to go, because my family is going but had to decline for reasons you’ll see in my response below.  I looked at him and said.

“I can’t because someone dicked over my hours and I’ll be here for 12 hours.”

That would be another reason I try to avoid people, my mouth tends to get me in trouble.  He joked it off about rushing straight over after work.  But I bit my tongue on the rest of what I had to say.  If I go to the game, I get home after 10, shower, go to bed, and get up again for another 12 hours tomorrow and Sunday.  While you’ll probably be enjoying time with your family all weekend.  I know it was rough working this week when you had all of last week off but some of us can’t afford to even use our vacation days together because we don’t get paid when we use them.

I could have a lot of these if work handed them out instead of safety awards.

Sunday Randomness

We’ll go with the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The Good. – We had Samantha and Trevor’s birthday parties today.  We weren’t going to combine them but we had trouble getting a weekend that worked with some of us.  We are about a month late on Samantha’s and half a month early on Trevor’s.  You can see why we just combined them.  We had it at the “family” pool.  I think a good time was had by all, especially the kids.  I invited my ex sister-in-law and her family as well as my ex mother-in-law.  Instead of just calling them those names, I will refer to them as friends, because that’s what they are.  They’ve all had their own issues with theEx and the JackAss so we have that in common.  Plus she said her kids never get together with my kids anymore because of the JackAss so we invited them so the cousins could hang out.  It was good to see them as well, they are getting so grown up.  Anyways, here’s some photos from the party.

 

  

  

Like I said, good time was had by all.  All the parents fought for shade while the kids swam.  Cheri was awesome with all the food and cakes.  And she did pretty good in the heat.  Her back is broken now from all the standing the last couple of days but she’s going to try to get in to the Chiropractor tomorrow.  That will help, hopefully.

The Bad. – I found out yesterday that theEx and the JackAss moved last week without telling me.  My kids even stayed at their new house one night.  I’m pretty sure she has to notify me that they moved.  I do have the right to know where my kids are.  They won’t be getting the kids back until I have an address and they are lucky I’m not a dick, because I could give the kids back next weekend, go to their old house, and call the cops and tell them nobody lives here and this is where my kids are supposed to be.  Like I said, they are lucky I’m not a dick.  Actually, they are lucky I won’t put my kids in the middle of their petty bullshit.  I just have no idea why they wouldn’t tell me, they actually didn’t tell their own family until after they moved, and that was a btw comment on Facebook.  Oh yeah, remember a few days when they wouldn’t drive Samantha here so she could go to the water park because she had no money?  That’s probably because she hired movers.

The Ugly. – Or what we like to call WTF Did They Just Say?  This is a special edition because it’s all about me.  In the trifecta.

First off, the other day I was at work and my foreman was talking about an ex employee

Foreman - “Blah, blah, blah, he was even more of a pain in the ass than you”.

Me – “Wait, what?  Pain in the ass?  Why?  Because I show up everyday and do my job with less mistakes than anyone else, that’s a pain in the ass to you?”

Foreman – “No, your smart ass mouth is a pain in my ass".”

Me – “Well you can solve that by staying the hell off my line and quit talking to me.”

I know, employee of the week over here.  That was probably the smart ass mouth he was talking about.

Secondly, while at the party mentioned above.  I was making fun of my wife because she was giggling in her sleep last night.  Then I said, in front of my mom, that I’m waiting for her (my wife, not my mom) to have the skiing dream, then made the arm motions.  Do you get it?  Come on think about it.  Pretend your laying down at skiing, what motion does your hands make.  Yeah, that’s right.  I’m a perve.  Even in front of my mom.

Thirdly, while Facebooking this evening, I came across a photo that was taken at the party mentioned above of my cousin’s son, with his girlfriend.  And I commented on it.

Yeah, that’s right.  I went there.  At least they aren’t skinny jeans.  But it is almost 90° and humid and he dressed liked that.  He deserved to be made fun of.  His girlfriend commented back that it was about time someone supported us.  See, all in good fun.

WTF Did They Just Say?

Welcome to a Special Edition of WTF did they just say? Why a special edition,  because this comes courtesy of my ex-wife’s husband, (the JackAss) and he’s a moron.

First off, I had to tell him to stop texting me because he just lies with everything he says.  He used to make fun of theEx to me, saying all kinds of things, including how he hoped she would leave him, ect.  I finally had a sit down with theEx  and told her about these texts and even showed them to her.  Then he got really pissed at me, cussed me out, blah, blah, blah.  I never respond to anything he texts me.  If you know me, you can call me whatever you want, I really don’t care what anyone thinks of me.

Anyways, this is theEx and Cheri.

The white text on the left is my ex, the green is my wife.  I had forgotten to send one of Trevor’s pills to her house for the one day she was watching him.  Just spaced it, my fault.

And the last green box from Cheri when she put “accuse”, they have accused her of all kinds of things.  All of them being wrong.  They once cussed me out because they said she threw out a coat they had bought Trevor.  I forwarded a picture of it hanging in Trevor’s closet.  Didn’t get a sorry or nothing.  Just a “Oh, Trevor said you threw it away”.  How about asking instead of accusing, dumb ass.

Sorry, I got sidetracked, but the sidebar was necessary to expand on why she put accuse in quotes.  In my opinion, it was justified.  I have no idea why theEx even text Cheri instead of me.  She said because she knew I was at work, but she also knows I text all day long at work, so who the hell knows.  I’d be rich if I could explain why they do the stupid shit that they do.

Now here is where her idiot husband comes in.  You’ll notice the spelling and text in general difference when he texts, that’s how we can tell when he’s doing it from her phone.

Now, after the first bubble up there, Cheri calls Tina, she doesn’t answer. A big shocker there because she has no backbone. Cheri left a voicemail explaining the same thing she put in the text above about why I forgot to send the pill, and told her that she does feed and clothe the children and if she isn’t women enough to answer her phone, then stop texting her.

Then she gets the next bubble on the left.  Meanwhile, Cheri keeps calling because they won’t answer the phone and she keeps receiving texts.  Finally, Wayne answers.  Cheri says “Do you feel better now?”  Their response, Wayne-“I feel better, Tina, do you feel better?”  Tina mumbled something and then Wayne said “Yeah, we feel better.”  Cheri said your making a big deal because we forgot to send 1 pill when you went for months, purposely not giving them to him?  Why not just say, hey guys, I ran out of pills, can you remember to send some next time?”  Wayne did some bitching, then said “The kids don’t even like you” he puts it on speaker phone and then ask “Hey kids, do you even like Cheri?” and then they responded “NO!!!”  Then Cheri said “Well that’s some good parenting right there, involving the kids.  You have a pleasant day” and hung up.

Now did you read all that?  you have ms.more stupid.  WTF?  Did she marry a 5 year old?

During all this, I was at work and Cheri didn’t tell me until after I got off because she knew that I’d be pissed, and she was right.  My hands were shaking I was so pissed.  I tried calling Tina when I got home and of course she didn’t answer.  I don’t have screen capture on my phone so I’ll have to type out the text I got.

“What do u need.” – Wayne

“For you to answer your phone.” – me

“Why.to complain like your wife.” – Wayne (copied like it is, I’m not that stupid.)

“Give the phone to Tina and tell her to call me.” – me

“Che doesnty wanty to talk to you or your wife.and if u have a problem with me take I up with me.not her.u no need” – Wayne

“Typical Tina, no spine.” – me

“You no.you day is comeimg very soon if i was u i would shut the fuck up because i will come to you and shut u up myuself im tired of your bad additude twords my wife.hope u can defend ur self.i tried being nice for the kids sake but I dont give a fuck bring it on jeff” – Wayne

After that I didn’t respond.  Do you realize how hard it was to type that out and keep uncorrecting the spell check and lower casing the I’s.  #1 – Other than saying she had no spine, I have never made fun of her.  He, on the other hand, has said all kinds of things about her.  I have the text’s on my phone to prove it.  #2 -

This is him, or her, or whatever.  Everybody I know that has met him, or her, has asked me if he was a guy.  He looks like a very butch woman.  So yeah, not afraid of that.  He’s the typical bully that will text anything he wants but has no balls (probably really, no balls) to say anything to me in person.

So when I pick up the kids from Tina that night.  I have the kids get in my car and ream her out.  (Sidenote – when I say ream, I mean lecture. I don’t ever yell.  Ask anyone.)  Asking her if she wants to lose the kids because that’s what’s going to happen if she can’t control her husband.  I told her (and not for the first time) that the only time we have issues is when her husband gets involved.  Tina and I get along fine until he opens his yap, or should I say, types with his fingers.  I have issues with Tina, yes, but nothing big until he’s in the mix.  I also reamed her out for not taking Samantha to her softball practice on Sunday afternoon.  I told her I do everything I can to get you more time with the kids, every weekend and most days off school, and this is what I have to deal with. I left it with this, and I’ll direct quote it for you.

“And tell your husband, he knows where I live, come on over anytime when the kids aren’t home.  You better get a leash on your bitch before I put him down”

On the way home, I reamed out my kids for saying what they did, but I didn’t punish them further because they never should have been involved in the first place.  But that doesn’t change the fact that I was extremely disappointed with both of them.

Then later that night, I send a text to Tina telling her Samantha has a game Tuesday night so I need her bat bag before then.  No response.  So Monday morning, I send the text again.  No response.  So I started to send the same exact text every hour.  All in all, I sent 7 text’s before I got a response.  Here’s how that went.

“Ity at ur moms” – Wayne

“What?” – me

“We tyook tyo yourt mommys house big boy.its on the porch.” – Wayne

So deciphered, they dropped it off at my mom’s on her porch.  But once again, you see who’s answering her phone.  So I no longer can communicate with the mother of my children because he controls everything she does now.

He’s such an idiot.  Do you see what I have to deal with.  I have never tried to take the kids from their mother, but at this point, I just want her to go away.  And I have no problem kicking his ass, but I was raised to not start fights.  But I guarantee if he swings at me, I’m tearing him apart.  And if you know me, I am not violent in any way.

Parents are stupid

As you know, they asked me to run one of the baseball teams at little league.  Well, the whole story is that they had 5 teams of 13-14 kids per team.  So they created a 6th team and begged me to coach.  This way, each team has 10-11 kids and every kid gets more playing time.  My team is even sponsored by the little league park, so they are paying for it just to give the kids more playing time.

I talked to the lady that helps run the park with her husband.  She said that more than a few of the parents have been bitching because their kids got moved after practicing with another team.  OK, this is an instructional league.  Which means no score is kept, you play against other teams but the rules are pretty laid back.  You can even stop the game to talk to a player and explain what he did wrong or what a better way to do it would be.  INSTRUCTIONAL.  Which means it doesn’t matter what team your on, we are all there to teach the kids.  You’ll find coaches helping the players on the other teams.  INSTRUCTIONAL.  We are here to help your kids learn the game and to get better.  Not coddle the damn parents because all your other favorite moms are on the other teams.  It’s freaking ridiculous.  It doesn’t matter if your kid had to switch teams, we don’t even keep score.  It’s INSTRUCTIONAL.  And do you know what the big problem is, the lady mentioned above called the parents, father usually answers, says yeah, no problem.  I understand, more playing time for my son, great.  Then she’ll receive a call a little bit later from the mother, bitching up a storm how her kid doesn’t want to switch.  These kids are 7-8 years old.  They don’t care what team they are on, YOU’RE the one that doesn’t want to switch.  Because you like to hang out with the other mothers on the other team.

I had one mother who I was having a conversation with, she was pleasant and curious.  She asked me if I’ve ever taught baseball.  I told her I hadn’t, because I haven’t.  Other than my kids.  I’ve been an assistant coach on my daughters team every year she’s played, which she is going on her 5th year.  I know and love this game.  I played through school and played softball for 10+ years.  I can probably teach every position, throwing and hitting.  But technically, I’ve never “taught” baseball.  She apparently called the lady and told her that I said I know nothing about the game and wanted to switch teams.

I’m really hoping a parent says something to me.  I will not hold back.  And neither will my wife, who will be sitting up there beside them while I’m coaching.  Or my mom, as far as that goes.  Parents are stupid and need to remember why their kids are playing.  And it’s not for the parents.  IT’S FOR YOUR FUCKING KIDS!!!!!

WTF Did They Just Say?

This is a special edition of WTF Did They Just Say? because I’m plugging a TV show.  If you get a chance, watch “Impractical Jokers” on TruTV.  It is hilarious.  These 4 guys who have been friends for years have to do challenges and complete them.  Each guy goes through the challenge but here’s the catch.  He’s wearing an earbud and can hear the other 3 and the challenge is, you have to do whatever they tell you, or you lose.  Here’s a clip.

Here’s another clip, if you can find this whole episode, it is hilarious.  The guy that wins steals from a lady’s plate, then she tells her husband and he comes over to him at the buffet.  Takes food from the buffet then when the guy goes to take off his plate, he smacks his hand.  The husband goes and sits down and the guy stalks him to his table and goes after his plate.  Here’s the beginning of that prank.

They do multiple challenges in a half an hour episode, then whoever loses the most challenges, has to do a dare that the other 3 decide.  Such as this.

My wife and I laugh so hard watching these.  My eyes usually hurt from wiping the tears off from laughing.  If you have a chance, you have to catch an episode of this.  I have Comcast cable and they have it On Demand, I don’t know about anybody else but if you have On Demand, look for it.  Otherwise, I believe it’s on Thursday nights on TruTV.

I stuck this on WTF Did They Just Say? because the reactions from the everyday people on here is hilarious.  Usually they are just stunned and have a look on their face that says “WTF Did They Just Say?”

Insane in the Membrane

I had a song stuck in my head this morning.  A nice, slow song.  I whistled and sang it for hours.  But the bad part was, I sang it to Adam.  He looked at me and said “I’m glad I don’t know that song”.

Damn kids these days, don’t know good music.  I offered to load it up on my Spotify but he didn’t want to hear it.

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Flashback Friday

Had a lovely evening with the wife tonight.  Went to the mall for a card show and to check up on Skyler on her first day on the job.  We basically only hit one table but she helped me go through the cards looking for White Sox cards.  Then she checked my lists for me.  The girl behind the table was very pleasant and we chatted while we searched.  It’s always nice to get out and spend time alone together.

That’s why this is a little late.  Technically it’s after midnight here.  And I have to be up at 6:30 for work.  And yes, they posted Sunday too.  So I’ll be working 11 days straight before my 3 day holiday weekend.

Flashback Friday

I’ve seen on a couple of other blogs that they were talking about their 1st jobs so I figured that would be a good subject for my first Flashback Friday.

My first job was at TJ Maxx.  I assume they are all over, I know it was a chain, but if not, they are mainly a cheaper clothing outlet with all kinds of other things as well.  I remember having to wear the gray smock over my dress clothes.  I had to wear ties to that job, and if you know me, that’s a negative in my book.  I was 16 so I could only work limited hours but I usually worked a few nights and the weekends.

I ran the register, straightened shelves, a little bit of everything.  Even cleaned bathrooms, and let me say, women are way messier than men.  Running the register was my favorite, as much as I hate people now, I enjoyed dealing with them back them.  I was young and stupid, what can I say.

Mostly what I remember from that job was going to Hacienda on lunch breaks, ordering pop and eating the free chips for a whole meal.  They don’t allow you to do that anymore, they don’t bring the chips till you order your food.  So much for cheap meals.  The other thing I remember is perfume fights.  When one of the other employees would walk buy, you come up behind them and spray a crap load of perfume on them so they would reek with it the rest of the day.

It wasn’t a bad job by any means.  Not an exciting story I know, but I don’t really remember too much about it.  It was 23 year ago.  Holy Crap, I’m old.

WTF Did They Say?

Welcome to the 2nd edition of WTF Did They Say.  Today’s stooge hales from Indiana and doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.  Need I say more?  Yeah, it was me.

My plant manager walked up to me and asked if I was going to play the lottery tonight, my quick response, with obviously no thought.

“You don’t pay me enough to afford to play the lottery”

Probably shouldn’t tell the person who pays you that.  I told you I wasn’t that bright.  But wait, there’s more.

My foreman came up and handed out new handbooks, I took it, listened to his speal about it, then asked

“So does everyone get the same handbook or does each person get a different one since everyone has their own rules”

Maybe I should have titled this “Reason’s Why Jeff Will Never Advance at This Company.”

Yeah, I’m an idiot.  Good thing they are used to putting up with me.  If I ever start to suck at my job, I may be gone in a heartbeat.  Hey mom, you got room in the basement?

Jagger Set Fire to the Rain in the End, WTF?

I survived the trip to Indy yesterday.  We hit the zoo but spent a little too much time riding trains and petting sharks.  When I get the chance to upload the photos, I’ll post more about it.  I got a couple of music posts and a new “segment” that I thought of today.

Insane in the Membrane

This song was stuck in my head a few days ago, probably Friday.  Nothing special about it, I heard it on my way in to work and couldn’t get it out of my head.  This group’s first album was about the time I really started to get into rock again.  Before that, I don’t even remember what I listened to at the time.  I was working in steel construction at the time, and I rode to the worksites with the foreman and my brother (he got me the job) and they listened to rock.  So hearing it every morning, kind of got me hooked.

Linkin Park–In the End

When this album came out I loved every song on it.  Only bad part about it was it was really short.  Anything Linkin Park did for awhile, I loved.  The mix of rock with some rap was awesome and I still like songs that mix it well.

Now today was a different story.  I ended up with 2 songs in my head today.  The first song I have no idea where it came from, the second has a story.

Maroon 5–Moves like Jagger

Like I said above, I listen to rock in the mornings, so obviously this song didn’t come from there.  The bad part is about the only lyrics I really know are the “I got the moves like Jagger, I got the moves like Jagger, I got the mooooOOOOoovveesss like Jagger.”  So here I am singing those 3 lines that are all the same, over and over and over again.  Ahhhh!!!

The next song I know where it came from, I walked into the breakroom and C had it playing out loud on his phone for Mike.  I’ll get to that whole story later.

Adele–Set Fire to the Rain

Now this song, I know even less of, so while it was stuck in my head.  I kept whistling it.  I’ve probably heard in about 10 times or so, but I never committed much of it to memory.  It’s one of those songs that while I’m listening to it, I can sing a long with a lot of it, but if you ask me to sing it without it playing, I’m lost.  I do like the song, just not a song I hear much because I don’t generally listen to that type of music.  Only when I relinquish the radio controls to the wife.  Or the oldest daughter, been then you only hear half because she can’t keep it on a full song.

WTF Did They Just say?

Here’s the new “segment” I mentioned above.  I’ll throw out a short story about something really stupid I heard (or said) that day.

As I mentioned above, I walked into the breakroom and C was playing Adele’s Set Fire to the Rain on his phone.  Mike was sitting there trying to guess who was singing it.  C was saying stuff like “C’mon Mike, you should know this” and Mike was going on about how he knows country well.  Yeah he’s an idiot.  I heard “She was on American Idol” and “I even think she won”.  I just sat there shaking my head.  I looked at Mike and said “you’re a moron”.  C asked me if I knew who sang it, I said I believe it’s Adele.  And just so you know, I pulled that out of my ass.  Any other time I wouldn’t have knows who sang it.  C was like, right on, that’s it.  And then I heard Mike say this.

“I only listen to country but I change the channel when girl’s come on and sing because I like to sing to the radio and I don’t like to sing that high”

I stopped, thinking to myself “Did I just hear that right”  I had a confused look on my face then I looked at Mike and said “C’mon Mike, you know you belt on Shania Twain’s “Man, I feel like a woman” when you hear it.  I told C the only time I even list to country is if my wife is in the car, Mike says “at least someone has taste”.  I said “Does your wife like country?”  He says “yes” very proudly.  And I said “So apparently liking country doesn’t mean you have taste since she also chose your dumb ass”  At least he learned to shut up instead of making himself look more stupid, eventually.  He finally ignored me, you’d think he’d learn to just keep his mouth shut, but he’s a slow learner.

He’s one of those guys who is a freaking moron, but acts like he knows everything.  And I hate people like that.  He tries to get involved in everybody else’s conversations and throw out just bits of info, to make it look like he knows what he’s talking about.  I should also explain, there are very few people who I hate, and even fewer people that get on my nerves so bad I can’t stop my mouth.  He is both of those to me.  He just rubs me wrong and I don’t hold back when talking to him.  You would think he just wouldn’t talk to me, but as I said, he’s an idiot.

Hopefully I’ll keep this segment around, I hear all kinds of crap, I’ll be sure to relay it to this segment.  It should be fun.  I’m also thinking about a Flashback Friday that you all might enjoy.