Flashback Fridays #14

It’s been brought up recently so I figured I’d talk about it.  I was a pretty good kid, I didn’t drink, I didn’t do drugs (still never have) and I wasn’t out partying.  If I wasn’t at home, I was at my friend Marshalls, at Lifeline shooting hoops, or at church.  My mom didn’t have to worry about me, at least in that sense.  I did do something that she tried to stop and couldn’t, something that could have gotten me kicked out of school (it almost did).  I skipped school, a lot.

I hated school, I hated how I was treated (either negatively or ignored), I HATED school.  But even more than my hatred for school, was my hatred for getting up in the morning.  I liked to stay up late, and therefore was not ready to get up when the alarm went off.  So when I hit Junior High, I started staying home, usually on Mondays.  After staying up late on Friday and Saturday night (usually just sitting in my room, playing with my baseball cards), I wouldn’t be able to go to sleep at a decent hour on Sunday night so I wouldn’t fall asleep till 4ish.  Instead of forcing myself up out of bed (like I did on Tuesday mornings) I just wouldn’t go.

I was the first person to leave in the morning but my bedroom was the only one in the basement.  So I would get up, get ready and then, just before the bus would come by, I would yell to my mom that I was leaving, open and shut the front door and sneak back down to my room.  Now, because my brother would come into my room at times when he was up and getting ready for school, I couldn’t just crawl into bed.  So I would hide.  Do you remember waterbeds?  Do you remember when they would have a shelf for a headboard?  Do you remember the little crawl space under that shelf?

Not my bed, but you get the idea.  See the crawlspace under the shelf?  I would grab a pillow and back myself into that crawlspace and fall asleep.  Guess it was a good thing I didn’t snore.  Eventually, I would wake up after my brother and mom would leave.  I would go upstairs, crawl into my mom’s bed and fall back asleep.  Why my mom’s bed?  Because it had a phone next to it (this was before cellphones young’ens) and when the school would get around to doing attendance, they would attempt to call my mom at home.  I would wake up to the phone, answer it, tell them in my surprised voice “Oh, she must have forgotten to call in, I’ll call her at work and have her give you a call.”  Then I would go back to sleep.  When I actually did go to school, I would be the first one home so in a few days, I’d get off the bus, grab the mail, and throw away the letter from the school to my mom to tell her that I wasn’t at school.

I got caught here and there, my mom would find out but by my final year of Junior High, I had it mastered.  I bet I went to school on a Monday only two or tree times all year.  That didn’t include the days later in the week that I didn’t go.  I missed a crap load of school and they did nothing about it.  The bad part was, I got bored sitting at home by myself all the time.  So I started to talk my brother into it and we would both skip.  We had a few skipping stories, like the time my aunt stopped by and we snuck up on the roof until the bus went by and pretended to just get home.  But the most famous story we have when we skipped school was when we got a visitor to the door.  We were sitting on the living room floor, playing Monopoly when the door bell rang.  I snuck over to the door and looked out the peephole to see my Vice Principal standing there.  There was no choice but to open it since he knew we were home.  Apparently, the school got wise and called my mom at work and offered to go pick us up.  So the VP and my guidance counselor took my brother to school (Elementary) then took me to Junior High.

The next year, I started High School and they kept track a lot better than Junior High did.  Eventually it got to the point where they pulled my mom and me in the office and they told us if I missed another day that I would get expelled.  So I didn’t miss another day, I would show up for the first 3 hours and then walk out and drive home.  I was (and still am) stubborn so I kept doing it.  While I didn’t really get into much more trouble for it anymore, I had to cut way back on how often I skipped.

One of the things I hate about the new rules of schools is that the parents can get into trouble if their kids aren’t in school.  My mom did everything she could to get me to go everyday, but she was a single mother who had to work.  She didn’t know I was under my bed, she would check my room to make sure I wasn’t there.  There is no way she should have gone to jail because I was skipping school.  I understand the law because there are parents who don’t care and let their kids skip school but that doesn’t mean all of them are bad parents.

Flashback Friday - 10/10/1999

10/10/1999.

No, I'm not confused on what year it is. That is the date that I started working at my current place of employment. Before I started there, the longest I had held a job was 3 years and I had done that twice. I was 26 years old and married but had no kids yet. Lets go back to 1999 and see what has changed.

I was working at a steel construction place, where we built steel warehouse type of buildings. Yes, I used to walk steel, on beams that weren't even as wide as my foot, up to 50 feet in the air. It paid pretty well but the hours sucked. We had to be on the job site at dawn. The problem with that was sometimes the site was a couple of hours away. So that means getting up as early as 3 am on some jobs. We would usually be out at the site till around 5 pm so sometimes I wasn't getting home until after 7 pm. I was playing on a couple of softball teams and a bowling league at this time so I usually had to beg my foreman to leave early. Plus, look at the date, October, it was starting to get cold. So I was casually looking for another job. My coach on one of my softball teams told me they were hiring. The pay wasn't as good hourly, but between overtime and bonuses, I could make close to what I did in construction so I took it.  I started off where I work on 3rd shift (11pm to 7am). I had never worked a 3rd shift but it's what I had to take to get my foot in the door.

My first night, I sat and racked small parts all night and morning. I was struggling to stay awake. My 2nd night was a little better because I racked big parts. I was standing and moving a lot more so staying awake was easier. My 3rd night, the buddy that got me the job got me moved over to run the overhead crane. I ended up doing that for a year waiting on an opening on the anodizing line and got over to where I work now. Base pay wise, it's the highest paid production job in the plant so within a year, I was making pretty good money. Plus we were working every other weekend mandatory and our monthly bonus checks were $300 to $400 take home. But I was young and stupid, I skipped work all the time and my wife (theEx) never would keep a job so we spent it.

Now, hear I am, 14 years later, doing the same job. Only now I never miss (that changed when I had kids) and I'm making less money. Last year was the first time I had ever made less money than the previous year. We got switched over to 12 hour shifts so the company didn't have to pay as much overtime (Sundays is straight time with the new hours).

Our bonus checks now are about $50, quarterly (every 3 months). I still like my job as in what I do but I no longer like where I work. It used to be a place where you could joke around and have a little fun, it no longer is. It used to be a place where you felt like the company cared about you, it no longer is. It no longer is a lot of things it used to be.

Well that post took a turn to the depressing so lets liven it up a bit by naming some stuff that has changed since 1999.

Ok.  Some of that is depressing as well but I am much happier in 2013 than I was in 1999.  I’m with someone who loves me and I wouldn’t give my kids up for the world.  I’m this close to buying my first home.  While I do hate where I work, I am grateful to have job security or at least as long as I can keep my mouth shut.  I don’t know where I’ll be in another 14 years but I know every year gets a little better so I’m looking forward to 2027.

Flashback Friday’s–Be afraid, be very afraid (repost)

I went looking for an old post for Flashback Fridays.  In light of reading about an 88 year old World War II veteran dying at the hands of a couple of teenagers.  It may not have anything to do with it, it may have.  All I know is I don’t remember being as much as of an asshole as the current teenage generation.  This was originally posted on February 12th of last year.

 

My wife and I took my son to his Scout awards program today.  It certainly wasn’t worth the 3 hours time there for the 5 minutes my son got his awards.  Part of that time was eating so it’s forgivable.  It was a carry in so lots of food.  But here’s my gripe.

What happened to sitting and keeping your kids quiet?  I understand giving them something to do to keep the occupied, but bring a whole freaking set of toys.  And not only that, but it was the kind of toy that made noise.  As was evident when we were having a moment of silence for a scout leader in the hospital.  All was quiet, except for that damn toy.  And the grandparent sitting next to the kid giggling because of the toy making noise during the moment of silence.

Maybe I’m just a dick of a parent, I don’t know.  My son sat there quietly during the awards.  While the damn kids behind us were playing and talking so loudly that we couldn’t hear half of what was being said.  The kids sitting in front of us were playing angry birds.  What happened to giving respect to the person up front talking.  Or how about after we were done eating when a bunch of kids were shooting baskets and dribbling basketballs at the hoop right next to the tables.  WHERE THE HELL ARE THESE KIDS PARENTS!

I realize that this thing is boring to the kids, but wouldn’t that be a teaching experience of why you have to sit and behave to show RESPECT.  Because let’s face it, kids have no respect for nothing, including themselves anymore.  And you can say it’s because of the other kids they hang with or all the electronics, TV, music, games, ect.  It all starts at home.  When you teach respect, you get respect.  Instead of trying to pacify your kids with electronics, try being a parent, and making them sit still.

All the parents, come here and gather around, I have a secret for you.  Closer.  A little closer.  Here it is.  Your in charge, not your kid.  I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in.  I don’t know what the hell happened when parents became afraid of the kids.  The kids should be afraid of the parents.  You can love your kids and have loving, close moments with your kids, but when it comes to them doing things they shouldn’t, they should be afraid of what is going to happen when you find out.  And they should fear that you will find out.  Because you ALWAYS find out.

I understand why kids do the stupid things they do, because if I could get away with it at that age, I would have too.  But I was afraid of what would happen.  That’s right, I grew up with consequences to my actions.  Kids now-a-days have no consequences to their actions.  I see it everyday.  There is no way in hell that my kids are going to talk to me the way I see kids talk to their parents out in public and certainly not at home.  You know why, because my kids are AFRAID of what will happen if they do.  And there is plenty you can do without laying a hand on them, for all you people screwing up your kids by not spanking.  Find what they love, and take it away.  Oh yeah, that’ll get their attention.  My kids get grounded from electronics.  All of them.  No TV, no mp3, no video games, nothing that takes batteries or electricity.  Minor offenses denotes an earlier bed time.  But, they do know, I’m not above spanking them.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had too, but they know I will.  Which makes them afraid.  Which keeps them in line.  Sure, they test their limits to see what they can get away with.  My brother and I did too, but we didn’t dare cross that line.  You know why?  We were AFRAID of our parent.

Flashback friday #11–Getting pulled over

You can click the pic above for previous Flashback Fridays.  Remember back when I told you about my driving record?  But I’ve got some stories about being pulled over as well.  I shall share a few here, or at least what I can remember.

• I went to New Buffalo for a softball tournament but me and a few guys went up the night before to stay at a friends house.  We decided to head up to St. Joe and hit a few bars.  The guys decided to start drinking on the way up there, while I drove.  I’m not a beer drinker so I was waiting till we got to the bar.  We were about half way there when a cop pulls out behind me and flips his lights on.  Here I am, with 4 other guys that all have open containers.  I about crapped my pants.  I pulled over, he comes up to the window and starts with his usual questions.  I take off my seatbelt to grab my wallet and hand him my license and registration.  He asks if I knew why he pulled me over.  I truly had no idea.  He says he pulled me over because I didn’t have a rear view mirror.  WTF?  It’s late night, dark, and he saw me fly by and 60 mph and noticed I didn’t have a rear view mirror.  Whatever!  He comes back from running my license and asks me if I knew my license was suspended.  Uh, no, again, I had no clue.  He puts me in the back of his car and starts asking questions.  I told him we were on our way home from drinking and I was the only sober one so I drove.  After sitting back there for half an hour, he finally let me out.  He gave me a ticket for driving while suspended and a seat belt violation.  You read that right, a seat belt violation.  I always wear my seat belt and I took it off to find my wallet.  I couldn’t argue though because he let me drive off since I was doing the right thing by being the sober driver.  We went to the bars, I drank pop the whole night and drove back to the friends house.  I never did pay the ticket because I was pissed about the seat belt violation.  Stupid Michigan cops.
• Not once, but twice, I got pulled over in the parking lot at work (2 different jobs).  The first time I was running late for work and there was just a quick drive up this road that was only 35 mph but like I said, I was running late.  I saw him pull out and I floored it hoping to get in the parking lot at work and lose him.  Didn’t happen.  He pulled me over and the first thing he said to me in an accusing manner, where are you going?  He must have figured I was trying to lose him.  I pointed at the building and said, right there.  Once he figured out I didn’t just pull into the lot to lose him, he gave me a ticket for speeding.
• The second time I got pulled over at work was right outside where I work now.  I pulled up to the last stop sign before I get to work, the cross traffic didn’t have to stop and I was turning right.  There was a car coming but I had time so I rolled through the stop sign and turned.  I floored it so the car coming wouldn’t have to slow down when I turned into work.  But just as I was getting up to speed, flashing lights.  The car I pulled out in front of was a cop.  Give me some credit, I was working 3rd shift so it was around 11 pm so it’s not like I could see anything but his headlights.  Once again, the cop pulled me over in the parking lot.  While I’m sitting out there, the bell rings and all of 2nd shift was walking out to their cars staring at me.  The cop even threatened to run me in right in front of all my friends (I had expired tags).  I was thinking, that isn’t my shift, I don’t know any of them but I kept my mouth shut.  He ended up letting me go on everything.  I think he just wanted to hold me long enough to make me late.
• The very first time I got pulled over the cop was full of crap.  I had a 1976 Chevette (It was 1989 at the time.)  I was sitting at a light, the light turned green and I go a little ways around a curb and he flashes his lights on.  I was pissed, I knew I hadn’t done anything.  He walks up to me in the car and asks if I know why he pulled me over.  Again, um, no.  He claimed he clocked me at 55 mph and the limit is only 35 mph.  In the space between the light and where he pulled me over, my car wouldn’t have made it to 55 if I had floored it.  I’d been lucky to hit 45.  I just said yes sir, no sir, blah blah blah.  He finally asked me if I knew what the worst kind of weather to drive in was (it was drizzling rain at the time), I was annoyed, I knew what he wanted me to say but I said snow.  He stumbled a bit, said, yeah, ok, I’ll give you that one.  But it’s just as bad in drizzling rain because the oil spots will sit on the water and make it slicker.  Again, yes sir, no sir, blah blah blah.  He ended up letting me go as well.  I think he saw a teenager and pulled me over just for that.  That happened a lot, age profiling.  As I got older, I got pulled over a lot less.
• Once I got pulled over because I hadn’t scraped my back window off.  The cop told me why he pulled me over, my response was I pulled over didn’t I?  I know how to use my side mirrors.  I don’t think he appreciated the answer but he didn’t say much other than running my license and then let me go.  I don’t know if that’s technically a law.

That’s about all I can remember off the top of my head.  And I’m over 1000 words so it’s a good stopping point.

Flashback Friday’s #10–I Love My Wife

I have decided that every once in awhile, I’d throw up an old post for Flashback Friday’s.  It’s a flashback of sorts.  This post was from June of 2011.  It’s a few weeks after Cheri was diagnosed with her MS.  I still feel this way, but I probably show it even less.  I suck.  The post is called “I Love My Wife.”

 

I know, everyone says that.  But I mean it too.  Not only does she take care of this family.  But she does it all with MS (Multiple Sclerosis).  She’s probably had it for years even though she was just diagnosed a few weeks ago.  She was diagnosed with other things before so through all that time, she was on meds that would help for a month or two, then stop helping.  Well, now we know why.  They weren’t treating the right disease.  It sucks that the diagnose was that, but our hope is, now that we know what it is, maybe she can get the proper help.

Even though she doesn’t sleep worth a crap at night (I still say it’s because she’s in bed with me).  She wakes up every morning and wakes me up.  And for the last few weeks that’s been at 4:20 am.  Then she tries to sleep a little bit before having to get up to get my two kids (8 yrs. & 6 yrs.) up for school.  Takes Samantha to school, comes home and then takes Skyler to school, then comes home for a few hours before taking Trevor to school.  In between all that, she’s making sure they are fed and looking good.  Then a couple hours afterwards she picks up Samantha and Trevor.  All this while some days she can barely move without pain, days where her head hurts so bad she looks drugged, days where she’s so exhausted, it’s all she can do to just get up to go to the bathroom.  Then after everyone is home, she makes supper.  Not always just 1 supper as Skyler doesn’t eat meat so she cooks 2 meals for us.  But that isn’t all I love about her.

She is so strong, when she feels so weak.  So smart, even though she feels like her mind is failing her.  So loving, when all she feels is pain.  She has taken this diagnosis in stride and just keeps plugging along.  She complains about the pain, who wouldn’t, but she never says “Why did this happen to me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?”  She just keeps going and tries to do all she can.  I have to tell her to stop and I get on her all the time for not asking for help.  I have to tell her it’s ok to not go to the kids games because it’s 100 degrees out.  That it’s ok to sit on your butt once in awhile and just take it easy.

The worst part is the rest of us in the house take advantage of her and she lets us.  The kids are horrible about this, but I don’t think all 3 have a clue what she deals with on a daily basis.  2 are just too young to understand, and the other is afraid to admit that it’s happening to her mother.  Even I’m guilty of this, I try to help out and I think I do help some, but she always does things for me that I could do for myself.  I tell her to leave it for me, but I know she won’t.  I need to just take over and do it for myself.

I won’t even get into what she deals with emotionally with dealing with certain family members of hers, or either of our exes, and even myself and the kids.  The whole time she deals with those emotional rollercoasters, she deals with this ugly disease.  But I believe that things will get better, because I can’t see why this awesome woman was brought into our lives, just to suffer with pain and anxiety.  I see her strength fighting this disease the whole time.  And I will be by her side the whole way.

So in closing, I love my wife, not only for the love she shows me but for the strength she shows everyone else.  She doesn’t even have a clue how strong she is, and I love her for that.  My job as her husband is to make sure she knows how special she is to me.  I don’t always show it, that’s my flaw.   A flaw she more than makes up for with all the ways she shows me that she loves me.  I will try to live up to her expectations because it’s the least I can do for my wife, the love of my life, my everything.  My heart and soul belongs to her.

I love my wife!

Flashback Friday–Driving Record

I recently applied for a different job at work and one of the qualifications was to have a clean driving record.  It got me thinking about my record.  If you remember, awhile back, I created this in reference to my oldest daughter who was now driving.

She’s had multiple things happen to her car, all while parked, according to her.  Maybe she’s not lying, but I remember my driving when I was her age.  My car was unlucky too, if it works for her, I’m using too.  Although now that I think about it, I recall getting rear ended in the high school parking lot (not my fault), I was the victim of road rage outside Indianapolis (not my fault), you also may remember this (not my fault.)  I even got rear ended at a stop light by work (not my fault) but I left the scene because I didn’t have insurance (my fault).

My BMV has a nice little feature online where you can actually view your record.  The bad news is, it only goes back to 1991.  I started driving in 1989, and those first few years were rough ones.  I know at one point I had 5 or 6 tickets, but I only got them half the time I got pulled over.  They were all for speeding (which was my one negative mark in driving school as well, go figure).

But let’s take a look from 1991 to current.

• Feb. 1991 – Speeding
• Sep. 1991 – Speeding (55 mph in a 30 mph)
• Dec. 1991 – Speeding (43 mph in a 25 mph)
• Nov. 1992 – Speeding (56 mph in a 30 mph)
• Sep. 1993 – Speeding (50 mph in a 30 mph)

I’m thinking if they would just raise all the speed limits over 30, I’d probably be ok.  30 is just too slow.  Now you’ll notice a 3 year gap between the last one above and the first one below.  That would be because of the 2nd violation listed below.

• Apr. 1996 – Speeding (58 mph in a 40 mph)
• Apr. 1996 – Failure to show insurance.
• Jul. 1996 – License suspended

Yeah, I didn’t have insurance for a lot of years.  It’s amazing how much better you drive when your driving illegally.  I certainly don’t condone what I did, it is what it is.

• Nov. 1996 – Driving while suspended.
• May 1997 – License suspended, failure to pay.
• Jan. 1999 – License suspended, failure to prove insurance.
• Jan. 2006 – Expired license plate.

You’ll notice a 7 year difference between the last 2, that’s because I pretty much drove without insurance most of that time.  The good news is, that 2006 pull over was the last time I’ve received a ticket.  Not because I don’t have insurance, I’ve grown up since then.  I’ve had insurance for quite awhile now.

Have I really become a better driver?  Yes.  Do I still speed a lot?  Oh yes.  Difference is, I pay a lot more attention to what is around me.  Not only watching for cops, but also, watching other drivers.  I tried to teach that to Skyler when I was teaching her how to drive.  The greatest thing you can do is drive defensively, always expect that car to pull out in front of you, always be aware of what is around you.  There has been multiple times when I was sitting at a light, it turns green, and I sit there while someone runs the red light.  I look both ways before crossing at a green light and it has prevented me from getting hit.

A lot of it has that I’ve matured as well, I’ll wait till your done laughing.  I don’t gun it at red lights, or race others.  When someone is riding my ass, I just let go of the gas till they pass, even if I end up doing 10 mph.  I didn’t say I still wasn’t an asshole.

I try to remember all the stupid things I’ve done in a car (drove out on a highway with a friend on the hood, drove under the influence, steal my mom’s car when I was 15) when dealing with my daughter and her stupid driving.  I try, it doesn’t always work out.  I guess that makes me a hypocrite, but we all want our children to be better than we were.  You hope they would learn from their mistakes.  I have trouble remembering that they have to make their own mistakes in order for them to learn.

I just hope she learns A LOT quicker than I did.  I was a dumb ass.

Flashback Fridays–the 80’s

My brother sent me a link the other day to one of those, if you remember these, you were an 80’s kid, I didn’t think of it much, as a matter of fact, I didn’t click the link for a few hours when I remembered that he sent it.  So I went back to my phone and clicked it.  It was from the World Observer Online site and it was called “50 Things Only 80’s Kids Can Understand”.  It was pretty awesome because it had all kinds of things that you don’t usually see on those 80’s lists.  I won’t go through all 50 here (NES, the Cosby show, the Breakfast Club), you can click on the link to the original article if you want that, but I grabbed a bunch of stuff that I hadn’t seen or heard of in a long time.

The Muppet Babies – I used to watch this every Saturday morning (yes, I was a kid in the 80’s).

He-man – I also watched this every Saturday.  You know, because Saturdays were the only day you got to see a bunch of cartoons.

NASA’s Challenger explosion – I was in Junior High home economics class and they brought in a TV to watch the launch.  I remember how shocked I was when it happened.  It was kind of a disbelief, did I really just see that?

Garbage Pail Kids – I don’t remember ever really being into these but my brother was.  I do remember laughing at all of them though.

  

Hands Across America & We Are The World - I thought these were the coolest things and they got talked about forever.  I loved the We Are the World song, anybody who was anybody sang on it.

Neon Biker Shorts – While the neon has come back, the biker shorts haven’t.  I walked into a Justice store to get some clothes for my daughter awhile back and it was like the 80’s threw up in there with all the freaking neon.

The Oregon Trail – I used to play this all the time.  Although I don’t remember if it was at school or at home.  This is the Sims before the Sims.  I’m curious how many people remember this.  I also remember Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?

New York Seltzer – I loved this stuff, I drank the peach flavored whenever I can.  It was basically flavored carbonated water.

ET Vinyl Doll – I totally had one of these, I think everybody did.  I loved the ET movie when it came out, I got addicted to Reese’s pieces after that too.

Scratch ‘n Sniff stickers – I was a big time sticker collector and loved the scratch ‘n sniff stickers.  Although some of these above, I’m wondering what they are supposed to smell like.

Trapper Keeper – These were so cool back in the day.  I used these for years, everyone had them and it was a challenge to get the coolest one in your class.

Flashback Friday/Cousins–Out to Pasture

I’m going to combine my Flashback Friday’s with a Cousins post.

         

Names have been changed to protect the innocent and the not so innocent.  Our cast, 2 sets of brothers.  The Dink and the Hulk, and Sluggo and the Midge.  The Dink and Sluggo are the same age and the Hulk and the Midge are the same age, but there is a 3 year difference between the Dink and Sluggo (older) and the Hulk and the Midge (younger).  These 2 sets of brothers, pretty much grew up together.  Even lived in the same household for some of it.  Eventually 1 set of brothers moved to North Carolina, but the other set visited as much as they could.  That’s where this week’s edition of Cousins takes place.

The cousins were all down in North Carolina at a relative’s house, I want to say a great grandmother or something to that effect.  They had a house with cow pasture beside it.  Naturally, being this part of North Carolina, the pasture was on the side of a mountain.  If I remember correctly, a creek ran through it as well so when us cousins went for a visit, we had plenty of land to play around on.  We were out playing for awhile and it was starting to get dark, as we started heading back to the house, we cut through the cow pasture.  Which of course, means you had to watch for cow bombs.

I don’t remember why but at one point we came to a huge pile of cow dung that was relatively fresh and we started poking it with sticks.  We were standing in a circle around it when the Dink stuck his stick all the way in it, probably enjoying the squishy sound it made.  I should say a sucking sound because it sucked the stick down and he couldn’t pull it out.  He wiggled it some and nothing so he started to try to lift it out.  With all his might, he finally pulled it free.  We heard the sucking sound again as it was released, the force of pulling the stick out splattered Sluggo, who was standing across from the Dink, with cow crap.

As we all laughed our asses off at Sluggo, we headed back to the house.  But we didn’t want to get in trouble so the Dink volunteered (maybe he felt guilty) to sneak inside the house and get some toilet paper or paper towels.  Due to the fact that the Dink couldn’t stop laughing, he got caught and they all had to fess up to what happened.  I don’t remember the details to the punishment but till this day, we all remember it happening.

Flashback Friday–Dude Write style

This is an entry to this week’s Dude Write contest where your supposed to tell an embarrassing or funny story that happened to you or that you witnessed in under 1500 characters.  For the record, I’m not looking forward to counting my characters.  My Windows Live Writer counts my words but not my characters.  Maybe I should type each sentence into twitter so it counts for me.  Being as this is a past story and it’s Friday, I decided to make it a Flashback Fridays post as well.

When I was a teenager and was going to church, I always sat upstairs in the balcony.  We (my friends and I) were sitting in the front row and the congregation was just finishing up singing a hymn and I went to close my hymnal when it slipped and fell towards me, no problem right?  Wrong.  I went to catch it, and in turn it slipped under the railing and fell down to the lower level.  So just as everyone stops singing and it’s very quiet, everyone hears a loud “thud”.  I lean forward and look downstairs and everyone, including the pastor, is looking up at me.  I did the "shrug my shoulders while mouthing, sorry" look.  Then I looked directly below me to see where the hymnal landed.  Had I dropped it a few feet to the left, it would have landed on a baby in a car seat/carrier.  Luckily, it just landed on an empty pew seat.

For future reference, you can type this out at http://www.lettercount.com/ and it counts the characters.  Thanks to my lovely wife for suggesting I Google it.  Of course, that was after I tried counting it and screwed up at the end.  This came in at 832, the original was shorter and I bolstered it when I realized I have more characters I could use.

Twinkie heaven and hell

With the announcement of Hostess shutting down, it brings back bittersweet memories.  The good, I loved Twinkies growing up.  LOVED them.  So much, that it caused the bad memories.

My grandma would let us spend the night every so often.  Back when I was in Jr. High school, I got my turn.  One of the great things about staying at Grandma’s was the stop by the grocery store where you were allowed to pick up a snack for the evening.  Bet you can’t guess what I grabbed off the shelf?  A box of Twinkies.  Did I mention that I loved Twinkies?

We did our usual stuff that evening, hung out, ate popcorn and of course, my Twinkies.  I went to bed at a reasonable time because it was a school night.  Well, back when I was younger, I had a lot of trouble sleeping so even though I went to bed, I just laid there wide awake.  After a few hours of staring at the ceiling, I decided I was hungry.  So I snuck off to the kitchen and I mean snuck, because the floor at Grandma’s place was very creaky when it was completely silent in the house.  I got to the kitchen, and you know what I was after, but what I couldn’t decide was, if I was going to be able to open some Twinkies without getting caught.  The individual wrap was very crinkly and loud.  So I decided that I’ll just take the box to my room and close the door and then I can open them without getting caught.  So I grabbed the box and snuck back to my room.

What I usually did at home after everyone was asleep, was either read or played with my baseball cards, something of that nature because it was quiet and I could do it with minimal light.  I don’t remember what I did while I was eating my Twinkies, but what I do remember is looking down and there was only a few left.  Now my choice was, put the box back and get in trouble or eat the remaining couple, then put the box back and get in trouble.  It seems like an obvious choice, I’m getting in trouble anyways, might as well polish off them off and then get in trouble.  So I did.  And finally went to sleep.

Grandma came in the next morning to wake me up to get ready for school.  I couldn’t move, I was in the fetal position and my gut was killing me.  I complained, she told me she wasn’t falling for it (I had a little of an attendance problem at school) and left me to get ready.  I stayed in the fetal position for a a while before I was told I needed to get up, by my bowels.  I ran to the bathroom and my ass exploded.  And continued to for hours.  Needless to say, I didn’t go to school.  I barely was able to get off the toilet.

Apparently a whole box of Twinkies was my limit.  I don’t know how something that has a shelf life of infinity could do my stomach so wrong.  I still love Twinkies but I rarely eat them anymore.  Oddly enough, I bought a box the week my wife was out of town so I have had them fairly recently.  But you can be sure that I only had 1 package at a time.

I am participating in the Dude Write Starting Lineup this week where you can find some excellent posts by bloggers who happen to be dudes.  Stop by, read them all and vote for me and 4 others.

Chevy can take the heat

When I was around 17 or 18, I had a brown Chevy Cavalier.  It didn't look the greatest but I drove that car into the ground.  It was actually my 4th car.  My first car was a Chevette but I hit a tree trying to avoid an idiot who pulled out in front of me.  It wasn’t that bad (that’s what I told my mom, she thought differently.)  My 2nd car was also a Chevette but it died.  As did my 3rd car, a Pontiac Phoenix.  After that, my mom decided to quit buying cheap cars and we upgraded to the Cavalier.  It actually came from a car lot, unlike the first 3.  I went through the first 3 cars in a matter of a year, but the Cavalier lasted 3 or 4 before I sold it for my only sports car purchase.

But this story is about my Cavalier and a trip to K-mart.  Don't ask me what I was picking up but when I got there, but I snagged a front row parking spot, score.  I headed in and was doing my shopping when I heard a page on the intercom.

"Will the owner of the brown car parked up front please come move your car."

I ignored it, thinking they were talking about someone parked on the curb and besides, I wasn’t parked illegally.  I kept shopping when I heard the page again.  I figured they can't be talking about my car but I'll go look anyways.

Upon stepping outside, I realized 2 things.

• They were talking about my car
• The car next to mine was engulfed in flames.

I walked up to the fireman and told him the Cavalier was mine.  He told me since the car on fire was on my passenger side that I could go ahead and move my car.  I said, yeah, that’s not going to happen.  My driver side door wasn’t working and I had been crawling in through the passenger side.  So I sat back while they put out the fire.

The only damage that happened to my car is the plastic piece between the front seat and back seat windows, melted out and away from the car just from the heat of the fire next to it.

That was a fun one to explain to my mom who was constantly having to deal with car issues from me.  I swear, this one wasn’t my fault.

And speaking of my Chevy Cavalier.  I remember having this cassette (google it, young ones) and played it in my walkman which I had attached to my cassette deck in my car.  My cassette player didn’t work, but it worked when I attached my walkman through it.  I always associated this album with that car.  I must have listened to it a lot.  I didn’t pull this song from the blue though, it came up on random play today.  What about this song is special?  Have you ever heard Michael W. Smith rap?  Listen to this song and you will.

Virginia was for my lover

For this week’s edition of Flashback Friday, I promised Red of “Doesn’t Speak Klingon” that I would tell the wife and I’s story since it is somewhat similar to hers and Brett’s of “The Transformed Non-Conformist”.  So here it is.
Cheri and I actually went to Jr. High for a few years together and half a year of our Senior year.  She moved after 9th grade, then came back for half of our junior and senior year but she graduated early, hence the half a year.  But we come from a school with over 2000 kids in it.  We were in different circles and needless to say, we were not friends.  We both remember the other from Jr. High but not High School and neither of us ever remembers talking to the other one, ever.
Well, once Facebook came along, I went through a period where I approved all friend request from anybody that graduated from the same school and same year as myself.  I approved Cheri along with a few hundred other “classmates”.  I talked to a few of them here and there.  Cheri was along that line, we commented on each other’s status’ once in awhile, but nothing much.  I ended up signing up with Twitter, and Cheri had one of those as well so she tweeted me a welcome to Twitter and that was about it.  She lived in Virginia (600 miles from me) so it’s not like we could hang out anyways.  Then that fateful day came.  I was working 3rd shift at the time, and I tweeted this (yes, I actually went back and found it)

I was changing a filter at work and the O ring didn’t seal and blew out when I turned it back on.  My arm was right in front of where it shot out at.  Here’s the afore mentioned chemical.

Not long after I tweeted that, Cheri tweeted back saying something like, “ I think you should go to the hospital”, and that’s where it started.  We tweeted back and forth that night.  She was a night person so she stayed up late, I worked 3rd shift so we kept tweeting back and forth for a few days.  We finally swapped phone numbers and started texting, figured that would be better considering I was going to get fired if I got caught on the computer.  This was back before we had smartphones so I couldn’t just access my app like I could now.
We started texting back and forth during any waking hours, instead of just at work.  Neither of us would go anywhere without our phones.  We got to know each other, we could tell each other anything.  We even stopped using LOL in our texts.  You know how you say something sarcastic or trying to be funny but you don’t want them to take it the wrong way, so you put LOL at the end of it.  We were using it way too much and we knew each other so well that we felt we didn’t need to use it.  If one of us was offended we would just say so.  We actually made a pact not to use it anymore with each other.  The texting went on for months.  I eventually made it back to 1st shift and we started getting on Yahoo Instant Messenger every night and stay up to 2-3 in the morning just talking all night long.  I would go to bed and get up at 6:00 to go to work, she would get up around the same time to get her daughter off to school.  We’d text all day.
Now through all this, I thought we were just great friends.  I wouldn’t admit to myself that I was in love with someone 600 miles away.  She says she figured it out right away, she just had to wait on me to figure it out.  I’m a slow learner.  Through all this, we never talked on the phone, we hadn’t met in person, all we’d done is text and IM and look at each other’s pictures on Facebook.  She was having some medical issues where her body would just get so weak that she couldn’t move.  It had happened once before.  I was walking my kids down to the local library to get some books/DVD’s and had gotten a text from her saying that she had another episode.  Without even thinking, I called her to make sure she was ok.  That was the first time we talked on the phone.  Just a real quick conversation just to make sure she was ok and then I got off to go in the library.  I think that might have been the time it really sank in with me.  Even after that, we still didn’t talk much on the phone.  We continued to text and IM.
Then it came, May 22nd.  That was the day we were going to meet.  She was driving up here for Memorial Day weekend.  Some classmates were going to meet at Hacienda on Friday night and we were going.  We spent the whole evening together and I didn’t want to go home that night (early morning).  She ended up spending Saturday with her sisters, who still live in the area, and then we spent most of Sunday together.  Monday, we had our “Lakehouse Moment”,  but that’s for another day.
You could tell from Friday night on that we were in love.  We loved each other’s company and couldn’t get enough of just holding each other.  It was a great weekend.  We ended up officially announcing that we were dating right after that weekend.  She ended up coming up again a few weekends later for her nieces graduation and I met the Indiana family.
After that, she would come up here for a weekend, or I would take a week off and go down there.  If we only have Friday night thru Sunday night, we would get a room in Cincinnati which was just about half way.  We’d meet on Friday night and take a crock pot and groceries because we were too broke to eat out all the time.  We’d plan free or cheap things to do around town.  Go hiking at Big Bone Lick Park, the Cincinnati Zoo and even took walks along the river at night.  Then Sunday’s we just killed time, not wanting to leave each other.  The drive home just sucked, we hated it.
Our whole relationship was out there on Facebook.  Everybody knew when we were getting together and where.  A bunch of our classmates were always shouting out encouragement’s and telling us how cute we were.  Anytime one of us drove all the way to the other, everybody on Facebook followed the trip until we were together.  Then neither of us were online all weekend.
The plan was to wait till her kids were out of school then she would move up here.  My kids were still young and I couldn’t leave them, so that was the plan, but we couldn’t do it.  I was so ecstatic the day she told me she was moving up here.  She couldn’t stand being away and we thought it would be better for everyone.  She moved up here in May of 2010.  We got an apartment and combined are families.
We knew each other so well from all the talking online and texting, that when we moved in together, it was like we had known each other for years.  We felt like we were married, so we decided to go make it official.  Unbeknownst to anybody, we met a Pastor back where we had our “Lakehouse Moment” and within 15 minutes, we were married.  We called the family and let them know.  They were surprised we got married without telling anyone, but not that we got married.  We’ve been happily married ever since.
Cheri and I have discussed what would have happened if we had dated when we were younger, and we’d both tell you that it wouldn’t have worked out.  We were 2 different people and we wouldn’t have gotten along.  So we both believe that our lives were meant to intersect when it had.  I think it worked out so well because we got to know each other before we had actually met.  We were in love before we had ever met in person.  And like I said, when we got together, it was like we had known each other for the 20 years that we were 600 miles apart.

This is “Our Song”

Flashback Friday

For Flashback Friday, I figured I’d go back to some Easter memories since it’s Easter weekend.  I described here what our Easter traditions are now.  I don’t really remember a lot as far as traditions go.  I remember my dad being in passion plays.  I remember getting to hold palm branches but I don’t remember why, as in, in the actual play, or if they just let the kids hold them.  I don’t remember anything about the plays, obviously I know the story, but I don’t remember my dad actually performing.  For all I know, I don’t remember anything right.  I have a distinct memory from his funeral that my mom says never happened.  So who knows.

Every Easter morning, my brother and I would wake up.  Well, my brother woke up, then woke me up.  He always got up at the asscrack of dawn.  And our job when we woke up, was to find our Easter baskets that the Easter bunny hid.  I don’t remember a lot of years of searching, but I remember one hiding place.  It was probably the best place it was ever hidden.  I think we had to ask for hints because we could not find them.  Wait a minute, we asked my mom for hints but how did she know where the Easter bunny hid it?  I’m so confused.  Ooohhhh, she probably went to make breakfast and realized they were in the oven.  Wait a minute, my mom doesn’t know how to use the oven so that couldn’t be it.  Anyways, I remember them being in the stove.  We got the usual Easter baskets, colorful, weaved, with Easter grass.  Usually loose jelly beans at the bottom, that must be where those cravings come from.  All kinds of candy, maybe a toy or some kind of an item that meant something.  I want to say matchbox cars were in there for years.  Always a chocolate bunny.

My brother, me and my 2 cousins on Easter - 1985

This went on for years.  And my mom loved that tradition, she loved giving, to us or anyone.  She still does.  She truly is in it for the giving, wait until I talk about Christmas.  I remember being the know it all teenager, you remember those years, where the only thing that matters is what you think.  You don’t care what anybody else thinks or how they feel.  I remember just sitting in the living room, and my mom was trying to get us to go look for our baskets.  I just sat there, knowing I was taking away her fun, intentionally taking it away.  I figured eventually, she’d just take it from it’s hiding spot and give it to me, and she did.

I look back now at how I must have made her feel.  And I hate that I did that.  Certainly not WWTJD (What Would Teenage Jesus Do).  I was an ass, I was selfish, I was a teenager.

But here I am, doing the same things to my kids.  Although we use Easter buckets now and no grass.  But my wife and I hide their buckets every year   And they love it.  And it’s the tradition that they know.  Until they become teenagers, and treat me like I did my mom.  I’ll complain to her, and she’ll just smile that knowing smile.  Because inside, she remembers how she felt.  And she’ll be sad because of that.  Or is that her evil smile, and inside she’s laughing her ass off.  Yeah, it’s probably that one.

Flashback Friday

Had a lovely evening with the wife tonight.  Went to the mall for a card show and to check up on Skyler on her first day on the job.  We basically only hit one table but she helped me go through the cards looking for White Sox cards.  Then she checked my lists for me.  The girl behind the table was very pleasant and we chatted while we searched.  It’s always nice to get out and spend time alone together.

That’s why this is a little late.  Technically it’s after midnight here.  And I have to be up at 6:30 for work.  And yes, they posted Sunday too.  So I’ll be working 11 days straight before my 3 day holiday weekend.

Flashback Friday

I’ve seen on a couple of other blogs that they were talking about their 1st jobs so I figured that would be a good subject for my first Flashback Friday.

My first job was at TJ Maxx.  I assume they are all over, I know it was a chain, but if not, they are mainly a cheaper clothing outlet with all kinds of other things as well.  I remember having to wear the gray smock over my dress clothes.  I had to wear ties to that job, and if you know me, that’s a negative in my book.  I was 16 so I could only work limited hours but I usually worked a few nights and the weekends.

I ran the register, straightened shelves, a little bit of everything.  Even cleaned bathrooms, and let me say, women are way messier than men.  Running the register was my favorite, as much as I hate people now, I enjoyed dealing with them back them.  I was young and stupid, what can I say.

Mostly what I remember from that job was going to Hacienda on lunch breaks, ordering pop and eating the free chips for a whole meal.  They don’t allow you to do that anymore, they don’t bring the chips till you order your food.  So much for cheap meals.  The other thing I remember is perfume fights.  When one of the other employees would walk buy, you come up behind them and spray a crap load of perfume on them so they would reek with it the rest of the day.

It wasn’t a bad job by any means.  Not an exciting story I know, but I don’t really remember too much about it.  It was 23 year ago.  Holy Crap, I’m old.

WTF Did They Say?

Welcome to the 2nd edition of WTF Did They Say.  Today’s stooge hales from Indiana and doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.  Need I say more?  Yeah, it was me.

My plant manager walked up to me and asked if I was going to play the lottery tonight, my quick response, with obviously no thought.

“You don’t pay me enough to afford to play the lottery”

Probably shouldn’t tell the person who pays you that.  I told you I wasn’t that bright.  But wait, there’s more.

My foreman came up and handed out new handbooks, I took it, listened to his speal about it, then asked

“So does everyone get the same handbook or does each person get a different one since everyone has their own rules”

Maybe I should have titled this “Reason’s Why Jeff Will Never Advance at This Company.”

Yeah, I’m an idiot.  Good thing they are used to putting up with me.  If I ever start to suck at my job, I may be gone in a heartbeat.  Hey mom, you got room in the basement?