Do you remember how you got your first porn mag? I know I do. It wasn’t the first time I had seen boobies, I had looked at magazines before. Playboy, High Society and whatever else was out there. I had friends who’s dad had some, plus my uncle had them, we checked them out. Oh the glorious boobies. Num-num-num. oh sorry, where was I?
I was spending the night at my aunt’s house at an apartment complex, the same aunt who gave me my first (and only) cigarette and also the first condom I ever used. But the porn wasn’t her fault. She had asked me to take the trash to the dumpster and when I flipped open the lid, there sat a stack of Playboys right on top. I was so excited but I was out in the middle of this complex and didn’t have time to go through them. Plus I was staying with my aunt so it’s not like I could walk in with a stack of playboys. So I reached in and grabbed a thicker one and stuck it in the back of my pants and covered the top with my shirt. I went back to the apartment and when nobody was looking, I slipped it into my bag.
I remember watching the Exorcist on TV but was thinking the whole time, go to bed so I can look at my porn. Eventually they went to bed and I broke it out to see my loot. What I grabbed wasn’t actually a playboy magazine, but a playboy special edition.
It wasn’t either one of those 2, but it was from this series. I couldn’t find the actual cover that I had, yes, I remember what the cover looked like. Or more like, I would know it if I saw it. I was so excited with my find, it wasn’t a magazine with all the articles, it was a book of all photographs. As you can see above, over 100 pages full of not only boobies, but dos sets of boobies, 2 sisters on each page. I had it for years until I turned 18 and could actually rent porn movies because this was before internet. We actually had to pay for our porn.
I ended up with 3 or 4 others in my “collection” but I really don’t remember where I got them. But I remember my first one. My first porn movie wasn’t as exciting. 
My best friend at the time older brother let us watch one. It was Alice in Wonderland, an adult musical comedy. I watched it again 5 or 6 years ago, so horrible. But it was the greatest thing ever when I saw it as a teenager. Maybe watching this all those years ago is the reason I hate musicals now with a passion. (Except O Brother Art Thou, I love that movie.) Maybe I can only watch musicals with boobies. They play music at strip clubs and I don’t mind those. I think I’m on to something. Anyways, that story isn’t as exciting as my first porn mag but I figured I’d throw it in here just so you know.
So what was your first porn movie or mag? Do you know? Do you still have it or did you get rid of it when all the pages started sticking together?
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The first porn book I ever saw had no pictures and was called "Slave Queen of Tunisia." It was a library book I found in my parents nightstand, and it had been checked out nine months before I was born. Thinking I'd probably been conceived with help from this book, I remember throwing it across the room.
ReplyDeleteLol, that's funny. I found porn in my grandparents room once, nude aerobic's tapes. Still makes me shudder.
DeleteI recall we had a VHS tape back in Ukraine where some TV show was taped over a Playboy video...I would always fast forward to those 3-4 minutes of the Playboy video left, where a half naked woman was dancing in front of a car. I must have watched those few minutes of the video over a dozen times. I must have been 12-13 max.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching HBO when we didn't have a subscription, trying to catch a little bit of anything amongst all the fuzzyness. Kind of makes you feel pathetic now with all the free porn available in your own home. lol
DeleteMy first porn mag was National Geographic, man those ladies in Kenya...wow!
ReplyDeleteLol! I remember spending hours trying to find boobs in those things. I think they should have had at least 1 article with boobs in each book, I wouldn't have had to waste so much time on the other editions.
DeleteI feel like a real pervert. I had hundreds of magazines when I was in junior high. High Society, Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, Cheri, lots of porn review mags.
ReplyDeleteHowever, my first one was in a closet in our bedroom when I was nine. I shared a room with my two brothers. The closet was the extra one in the house that held all the blankets and boxes of winter clothes. We found it in there once and our parents didn't know it was in there. It got pulled out often.
Maybe a perv, but a lucky perv. I would have been too afraid of my mom finding them if I had that many. 3 were easier to hide.
DeleteFuzzy-vision on channel 95 baby.
ReplyDeleteOh the lengths we went through just to see some nudity.
DeleteWhen I was a kid, we'd go over to the neighbours who had a dairy. The dad always had a Penthouse playmate calender up on the wall in the barn. It was pretty impressive. Until he changed it in the new year and his kid dug the old one out of the garbage and took it to elementary school. He ended up getting expelled. That was the end of the calenders.
ReplyDelete