I perfected the triple wiener dog

I wasn’t always this fat, I used to be athletic.  I played all kinds of sports when I was a kid and was actually pretty good.  But one story that stands out when I was an adult.  After high school, I still played basketball weekly and softball for 2 or 3 different teams a season for probably 10 or 12 years until an injury stopped all that.  But this story takes place on a softball diamond.

My favorite team was our co-ed team.  We had an awesome mix of girls and guys.  Most of the teams we played. the girls were the weak spots just because they were thrown together by the guys or by the workplace they all worked.  Our team consisted of all ballplayers.  Everyone on the team had played for years, we were good.  But I had a lot of fun with this team and they understood me and didn’t say anything.  What do I mean about that?  I hated warming up, throwing a ball back and forth was boring, I had no interest in that.  The other players didn’t care that I was only one who didn’t warm up.  Nor did they care that my warm up consisted of having a hot dog or 2 in the dugout before the game.  They didn’t care because they knew once it was game time, I played 100%.

One game, I was sitting on the bench eating my pregame hot dog when I heard the umpire shout, “Play ball”.  I was the lead off hitter so I rushed up to grab my bat and hustled out there.  Never make an umpire wait on you, they don’t like that.  I get up in the batter’s box and take the first pitch (I always took pitches until they threw me a strike.)  I don’t remember the count, but I ended up hitting a triple down the right field line.  As I slowed down and stopped at 3rd,  Paul, who’s was our coach and 3rd base coach, congratulated me with a high five.  While we were waiting for the next batter and he was talking to me.  I told him I hope I don’t have to slide at home.  He looked at me and asked why.  I then proceeded to take the rest of my hot dog out of my pocket and took a bite before putting it back in.  Paul just looked at me with one of those I don’t believe what I just saw kind of looks and started laughing.

To this day, when we start sharing our old softball stories, Paul always shares this story.  I didn’t think it was that hilarious but apparently he did and still does.  I’m just glad I don’t use condiments or that I didn’t have to slide.