I spent most of my day scanning. Between the cards I needed to get scanned for “My Sports Obsession” and I finally got theEx to give me baby photos of the kids so I’ve been scanning some of those. I’m really enjoying going through the photo’s of the kids smiling baby faces. Maybe because I actually spent time with them because they wanted to spend time with me. I went and picked up the kids from theEx at 5:30 today, earlier than usual because they had plans this evening. Got the kids home, and had them shower (I always have to when they get home to get the pet smell off them) and then they went into their rooms and I haven’t seen them since. Now I have never told them to go to their rooms, they just always do. I only have one rule if they stay out in the living room and that is that they have to be quiet. I understand them staying in their rooms because I always did too, and all I had was a TV and radio. They both have TV’s with cable, Sam has a CD and MP3 player and Trevor has a PS2 and a massive quantity of lego’s in his room. So they have a lot more to do in their rooms then I did but I feel bad because they do spend all their time in their rooms. But I guess it’s their choice so I shouldn’t feel bad.
My favorite picture scanned so far of both kids is over there on the left. Another favorite is the one on the right. Trevor cracks me up in both of them. But look at how blue his eyes are on the one to the right. Like I said above, what I notice most is how happy they are. Probably before life beats them down, wait until they are adults. The couple of albums I’ve gone through so far are from 2003-2005 so I haven’t gotten to Samantha’s baby pictures yet. She was born in 2002 and Trevor was in 2004.
In hindsight, I wonder now if theEx didn’t decide to have kids to try to save our marriage. We were married in 1994 and were in agreement that we wanted 2 kids. But we didn’t decide to actually have the kids until 2001. By then, I didn’t want any kids. I had decided that I didn’t want to be responsible for kids with all the things going on in the world. All the child abuse and sexual predators out there is just ridiculous. I knew I would never be able to survive if anything happened to my kids so I wanted the easy way out and just not have any. Not to mention, I really don’t like kids. But I went with theEx and had kids since when we got married, I said I wanted some. So we had both kids. I was oblivious to the fact that my marriage wasn’t so great. I just thought that was the way it is when you’ve been married that long. Not much love, just a tolerance for each other. But we had kids, and I loved them. I won’t get into that whole story of the marriage falling apart but let’s just say, it’s 10 years and 2 kids later and I’m the one who has custody and is taking care of them. So don’t mistake the not wanting kids, to not loving my kids. I love my kids and I wouldn’t give them up for anything. As a matter of fact, they are the reason that Cheri moved up here to be with me. Because I wouldn’t leave them. So like I said, don’t mistake me not wanting kids to me not loving them.
I probably won’t get back to scanning the rest of the pictures until Wednesday because that will be my next day off. Maybe I’ll post a few more pics
Track – Renegade
Artist – Styx
You would think that this song reminds me of seeing them in concert. It was an outdoor concert underneath the Arch in St. Louis during their 4th of July celebration. But it doesn’t, I have actually grown to love this song more since watching a certain TV show that uses it a lot during their opening while showing what previously happened on the show. Anyone know the show? It used to be one of my favorite shows if not the favorite at one point. It has kind of lost it’s luster but I still like it.