Saturday, December 1, 2012

My shameful addiction

I have an addiction and I feel that it is a waste of some of our money.  Although not much of it.  Every time I go to the bathroom to take a leak, it’s standing there, right at eye level, staring back at me.  I try to get through the bathroom visit without using it, but a lot of the times I can’t.  What is this horrible item, you ask?

I know, it’s a disgusting habit.  But I blame my grandparents.  See, back when I was a kid, I used to have to lay down with my head on their lap, while they took a bobby pin and cleaned out my ears.  I don’t know why, I don’t know if that’s an old time kind of thing, something they used to do back in the day.  But I grew to love the feeling, sometimes I get the itch and I stick whatever I can find in there.  I remember using pencils back when I was in school, hoping that I wasn’t coloring the inside of my ears.  Sometimes I rub around in there with toothpicks, it’s all about scratching the itch. 

Now before you get all grossed out, you see the picture of the Q-tip up there?  That’s pretty much how they look when I’m done using them in my ears.  I stick in there, twisting back and forth all the way to my drum (I think), OMG I’m getting a hard on thinking about it.  Not really, just kidding, sorry.  But I do love the feeling.

So back to the bathroom, every time I’m in there, I have to fight the urge to use one.  And every time I pull it out just as clean as it went in, I think, I just wasted another one.  Think my wife would notice if I started putting them back in the box?


Dean and Sam say it’s ok, but I’m pretty sure my wife would find out and kick my ass.  I guess it could be worse, they could come out all nasty and gross.  They could come out as dark as this Q-tip

Sorry.  I don’t even know who he is, but when I googled Q-tip, a million pictures of him came up.  Apparently he’s in A Tribe Called Quest.  I had to add an S to Q-tip to get the proper Q-tips picture.

But like I said, I should just count myself lucky that I have clean ears.  My wife just wishes my nose was always that clean.

But that’s another story…


  1. Yes she would definitely come unglued if the Q-tips came out dark and you slipped one of those back into the box.

  2. I use Q-tips all the time and have no problems, but our son has an issue with earwax and the doctor told he never to stick Q-tips in his ears. Too bad--it IS a good feeling.