Today started off as the usual work day. I got up, shut off my alarm, got dressed in the dark and headed for the bathroom. See, the typical morning start. But this would not be the typical day. My wife didn’t have a typical day. She has problems with anxiety some days, this was one of those days. I told her I would cheer her up when I show her a surprise that would make her smile.
So when we got home, I kicked my shoes off and told her to have a seat. She sits down in the recliner and as I’m unbuttoning my work shirt, I asked if she was ready for her surprise. She looked scared. I opened up my shirt and started to unbuckle my belt. I stepped close to her and told her to undo my pants for a surprise. She didn’t want to, I had to tell her she had to so she would feel better. She unbuttons my pants and pulls down my zipper and spreads it open and starts to laugh. Just what every guy wants, a girl that pulls down his pants and starts to laugh.
No, it’s not what you think. See, when she opened up my pants, she realized that hole that’s normally there in your underwear, wasn’t there. That would be because my boxers were on backwards. Now remember up there, where I said I dress in the dark. I usually feel around the waistband for the tag on my boxers before I put them on. Apparently this morning, I didn’t. What’s really bad is I never noticed until after 4. A few times to the restroom, never noticed. Granted those were trips to the urinal. But when I sat down on the toilet, I noticed they were on backwards. Now the question was, do I remove my boots, pants and flip my boxers around, all while in the stall or do I just keep wearing them backwards.
I decided to tough it out for the rest of the day. That might have been a mistake. I was walking and there was someone behind me, I started to wonder, can they see my boxer line, can they tell they are on backwards? What if everyone finds out? Will I be shunned or bullied? But I did notice I didn’t get any wedgies today. I’d like to think that I stretched out the front so there was plenty of room for my ass but I’m 99% sure (and a few inches) that it wasn’t that.
I am participating in the Dude Write Starting Lineup this week where you can find some excellent posts by bloggers who happen to be dudes. Stop by, read them all and vote for me and 4 others.