So, Saturday, my wife and I volunteered to travel with the girl scouts troop and be chaperones. So we borrowed my mom’s mini-van and drove half of them. Only 7 girls went so it wasn’t like we were really crazy, just semi-crazy. We went up to Michigan Adventure which is a smaller version of a Six Flags. They have a bunch of coasters and other rides as well as a water park. I didn’t take many pics but the girls had a blast. I rode a few coasters and got my ass kicked. My head bouncing back and forth between the restraints made my ears hurt. And my shoulders are bruised from bouncing back and forth as well, on the coaster where your feet dangle. Samantha complained about bouncing back and forth so it wasn’t that I’m just fat and huge. Cheri rode on one and she was done, she loves riding coaster but at the rate they were banging her around, she would have been in pain after just a few.
Don’t get me wrong, we had a good time. Better than we thought we would have. The girls were pretty good and included us with everything. I took Samantha on her first coaster that goes upside down.
She was a little worried but we went together. We were standing in line and she asked me “How come your not nervous?” Um, I’ve been on hundreds of coasters and a lot bigger ones then they have here. Granted, it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve been on one, but you’ve been on one, you’ve been on them all.
I couldn’t get her to go on this one.
It’s one of the kind where you sit but your feet hang down. This is the one that killed my ears and shoulders on the harness. Only 2 girls would ride it. So us 3 went on this one. They sat in front of me and before we got on, I looked at them and said “No throwing up, I’m behind you and I don’t want your puke in my face”. I’m so good with the ladies. They laughed but not as hard as the one girl and I were laughing at the other girl when we got off the coaster. Through the whole ride we heard. “OH JESUS!! JESUS!!! OH JESUS!!!” on and on. I was laughing through the whole ride because I thought it was one of them but I couldn’t tell. When I found out it was, we made fun of her because that’s what a good chaperone does.
They ended up spending the last couple of hours in the water park. Which of course they loved. Cheri and I were home base. We parked under an umbrella and the girls would come and check in with us as to their whereabouts. I think the girls had a great day, I know Samantha did.
But the real ride that about killed my wife and I, and 3 of the girls including Samantha happened on the way home. We were driving along in the middle of a city. 2 lanes going north, a big grassy medium, then 2 lanes going south. The kind of city that if you want to go somewhere on the other side of the road, you have to go up to the next light and turn around. Unless your with my wife. We were driving along and then she yells “OH MY GOD!!!, TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND” while grabbing my arm with her nails digging in. I immediately just cut to the left. Grass medium be damned. We went down in the grass and popped up on the other side, grass and dirt go flying. We hit the edge of the other side of the road and go airborn. After we landed I had to swing the van to the left, going up on 2 wheels. The girls were all screaming, thank God they had their seat belts on. I was panicking with all the girls screaming and all the horns and crashing sounds I hear around us and I flip a glance over at my wife and her tongue is out and she’s drooling with this evil look in her eyes. I freaked out, she pointed, I turned into the parking lot and got to a spot. We were all catching our breath and my wife is yelling at me “GIVE ME MONEY!!!!” I offered her $7, that was all I had in cash and she said “MORE!!!” I just said here, and through my debit card as she climbed out and ran into the building. It’s a good thing I love her because the girls were begging me to drive away because they were so freaked out. What did she see that turned her into a drooling monster.
Apparently, they have these in Canada and she was in love with them. What did she go in and buy that she just had to have. That she risked the life of myself and 3 poor innocent girls.
Yeah, donut holes. Oh wait, I’m sorry, Timbits. We eventually made it home with the beast satisfied.
I may have embellished the story about getting the donuts, don’t freak out and think I put all those girls in danger. But I did feel that if I didn’t turn around that my life would have been in danger.