Wednesday, August 8, 2012

All My Children

I’ve talked about my kids on this blog before, but I really only talk about 2.  So I figured I’d share the dynamic of my family.  I explain here how my wife and I met and got together but I never really discussed her kids.  I have 4 kids, technically, 2 kids and 2 step-kids.  Cheri has an 19 year old son (Chris) and a 17 year old daughter (Skyler).  I have a 10 year old daughter (Samantha) and an 8 year old son (Trevor). 

Chris moved up here when Cheri did but only stayed a month before moving back to Virginia.  I bonded with him some on my trips to Virginia and he actually surprised us when he said he was moving up here.  We both think he moved up here in search of a father figure.  He was upset with me when he moved back, said I tricked him into thinking I would be a good father.  What it came down to is when he moved up here, I had to work most everyday.  And he never asked me to do anything so we didn’t do the stuff that he wanted (bowling, throwing a football, ect).  Had he asked, I’d like to think I would have, but he never asked and I didn’t realize he was waiting for me to ask.  So Chris and I really don’t have a relationship, we’ve been around each other since and everything is fine but we just don’t have a relationship.  He didn’t really give me much of a chance.  I still worry about him.  He’s a really good kid with a really good heart but he’s lost and will be until he matures.  I worry that he doesn’t have any really good influences around him.  Luckily, he doesn’t have any bad influences either.  He just needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life instead of living off others.  He’s going through some medical issues as well, we think he will have those licked in a few months as soon as he has a surgery.  It’s not necessarily a major surgery but with previous health issues, it could very well become a major surgery.  Being as he still lives in Virginia, I doubt I will ever have much, if any relationship with him.  But we will see.

Skyler also moved up here when Cheri did but eventually moved back down to Virginia as well.  But there were some issues and we went down and picked her up and brought her back home with us and she’s been with us since.  She’s been here over a year now, close to a year and a half.  Her and I have more of a relationship but being as I didn’t really come into her life until she was 15, it isn’t a strong one.  She respects me for the most part and we rarely fight but I get frustrated when her and her mom fight.  She came up here, graduated high school a year early and is starting college in a few weeks.  She’s a smart girl and her mind is very quick, which tends to get her in trouble.  She, like most teenagers, also, just needs to grow up.  One minute she wants none of our help because she’s old enough to do it herself, the next minute she asking for money because she doesn’t want to spend hers on going out to eat.  Like I said, a typical teenager.  But we’ve had a lot of good times too.  When she’s just being herself and hanging out with us, she’s great.  She’s funny, smart and when she dresses normal instead of “hipster”, she’s very beautiful.  We have a decent relationship, we’ve had some good talks and we joke around with each other.  I’ve told her that I think of her as my daughter, I doubt I’ll ever hear her call me dad or even admit I’m a father figure in her life, but I do love her as my own and I want what is best for her.  Now if I could get her to realize that what she wants and what is best for her are 2 different things.

Samantha is starting 5th grade in a few weeks.  Which is one year removed from Jr. High, which scares the crap out of me.  She’s growing up so fast.  But she is a daddy’s girl still so I haven’t lost her yet.  But wait until she gets older and it gets easier to embarrass her, then we’ll revisit that.  I worry because she is going to start getting into the teenage girl mode, which is where I’ll lose her.  She’s already had some teenage drama with a few friends and I am so not ready for that.  I’ve tried to raise her to not care what other people think about her.  But her doing that and thinking that are 2 different things.  I really am not ready for all the emotional stuff that comes with raising a girl.  She still loves to play sports though, maybe that will knock that emotional stuff out of her.  I can dream.

Trevor is where I really worry.  Remember how I don’t like emotional, well, he’s emotional.  And he’s a lot like I was at that age.  And I was picked on all through school.  The teacher’s say they love him, he sits and does his work, doesn’t bother other kids, and as a matter fact, they say he will go up to other kids who need help without asking.  He’s just in his own little world and I’m afraid that will alienate him as he gets older.  Actually, I know it will because that’s what I did.  He is way too laid back, which he also gets from me.  So much that he just doesn’t care if he can swim or ride a bike without training wheels.  I worry about him the most.  But I worried about him the most going into school as far as grades go and he’s is above average in most everything he does.  So maybe the worry is unwarranted.  But I’m his father, it’s my job to worry.

So that’s my kids.  They are a blessing and a curse.  All I want to know is, how did I go from not wanting any kids to having 4 of them?  I must be out of my mind.


  1. Life never quite turns out as we expected. And try not to worry too much. Give them who you are. Be real and honest. And cross your fingers. Because in the end they are their own people. All you can do is try your best and hope that solid foundation serves them well once all the tumultuous teen years are over and they become young adults. :)

    1. Anyway I can get them to skip the teenage years and go straight to young adults?