Sunday, May 25, 2014

the Ex strikes again

I do everything I can for theEx.  She complained that she didn’t get to see the kids enough so I told her she could have them every weekend instead of every other unless I needed them for something.  I let her keep them an extra day when they have a Monday or Friday off of school.  We share all holidays, most of them, I have them in the morning and she has them in the evening.  She is going to a family reunion in Virginia this year, on Fathers Day weekend, and I said she could take the kids.

What do I get in return, pissed off every weekend.  A few weekends ago, she took them to the zoo, on Sunday.  Knowing we were supposed to meet at 7 for her to return the kids.  She texted me around 4 and all she said was she would drop the kids off at our place a little late.  No problem, 3 hour notice, she’s dropping them off.  No biggy.  At a quarter after 7, I get on Samantha’s Facebook page and send her a message asking when she will be getting home, I don’t even remember what her response was but it has a location thing and it said some place in Ohio.  I googled it and it was just north on Cincinnati.  I called theEx and asked where she was at, she said they went to the zoo but they had GPS problems so they are going to be a little late.  Again, I asked where are you at?  Well, we went to the Cincinnati zoo but our GPS cord quit working and it died.  Blah, blah, blah.  I said #1, you have an iPhone, it has GPS on it and #2, it’s a school night, what time are you bringing them home?  Uh, it won’t be until around midnight.  I was livid, midnight on a freaking school night.  Now I have to be up late, and will be anyways since they aren’t home, and I have to be up at 5am to go to work.

First of all, Cincinnati is over 4 hours away from here.  Why they did this on a Sunday knowing they would have to have them back by 7 is beyond me.  Actually, I know why.  They don’t think about anybody but themselves.  Secondly, she is not supposed to take the kids out of state without me knowing.  That’s the law, not my rule.  I don’t really care that she did, but had something happened, I would have at least like to known where they were at.  Regardless, she didn’t drop them off till after midnight that night, which of course, was a school night.

I was pissed, I debated on making her custody every other weekend but I feel like I’m punishing the kids because of course, they love her and she’s the fun parent so they’ll just think I’m taking away their fun.  So I didn’t.

Now today, I’m sitting in the meeting spot at 7, and they aren’t there.  Here’s the conversation, the right side is me the left is theEx.

2014-05-25 20.54.57

My family has done the same thing for Memorial day every year since I was born, and I’m almost 41.  She was part of my family for almost 15 years of that.  We’ve been seperated and divorced for over 4 years.  That’s 4 years of the same situation that we are in now, and she has never kept them on Memorial day.  We get up early, go to breakfast, go to the parade, then hit a couple of cemeteries and pay respects then to my mom’s for a cookout.  In the midafternoon, I meet her and she takes them for the evening.  It’s been the same for the last 4 years.  What my family does has been the same for as long as I can remember and then some.  Now had she texted me sometime throughout the day and asked if she could just bring them to the parade, I probably would have said yes but no, she just changes the plans without notifying me.  So I sit out there at the meeting spot for 20 minutes plus the drive out there, when I never had to leave the house.

I used to love this woman, even after we separated, I cared about what happened to her.  Now, I don’t want to see her, let alone talk to her.  I’m really close to putting her on my “hate” list.  Which I can only think of a couple people who I have ever put on it.  Her husband would be on it already, he’s just a douchebag.  You can read about his exploits by clicking on my nickname for him – the Jackass.

Once again, I’m left thinking, should I take away her every weekend.  After bringing them home after midnight on a school night, and I found out this weekend, they took them to a horse track where theEx was betting on the horses.  Which isn’t illegal, but it isn’t exactly great parenting either.  I don’t want to take the kids away from their mom, I don’t want them to hold that against me.  But lately, it may be for the better.  I don’t know what to do.


  1. UGH! Can't help you any, but I hope you're feeling better after the vent. When I hear stories like this it makes me want to go postal on people!!!

  2. is hard to try to fix these kinds of situations. It sounds to me like she is never going to follow the rules no matter what they are or who makes them. You might have to sit the kids down and talk reality to them. And then when they are older they can make up their own minds about their mom. Do you have full custody and she only has visitation. Or do you guys share custody?

    1. I have custody, thank God. They live with me and visit their mother's on the weekend.

      Samantha sees some of it but Trevor is a momma's boy.

    2. Maybe fewer visits would help....

  3. No advice to give except to go with your gut instincts. You just have to do what's right for the kids in the long term.

    Father Nature's Corner