Dating Mrs. Palmer

I have a few loyal readers to my blog, one of those is my mother.  So mom, consider yourself warned.  This is a post you may want to skip.

So, my lovely wife and I have noticed a trend going on in the house lately.  For some reason, my 8 year old son, is all of the sudden, taking really long showers.  I know what your thinking, we thought it to.  But we would just poke our head in and ask

“Have you washed your hair?”

“No”

“Have you washed your body?”

“No”

“Well, quit playing with it and get washed up.”

I was joking, sort of.  But after this happened more than a few times, I decided we needed to have a chit-chat.  So I asked him before putting him to bed.

“What are you doing in the shower for so long?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you playing with yourself?”

He puts his head down and says “Yes.”

Seriously?  Already?  I mean, I know at this age, you touch it and grab it, but is he old enough to actually play with it that long?  I have no idea what age I was when I started spending that much time “pleasuring myself.”  I know once it starts, it never stops but I have no idea how young you are when you start.

“Everybody does it buddy, but you need to do that in the privacy of your bedroom.  We have to pay a water bill and you standing in there for an hour isn’t helping any, plus other people use that shower, ok?”

“Ok.”

“And make sure you clean up after yourself.”

“Ok.”

Yep, he’s a chip off the old block.  Was this supposed to be a conversation that I was supposed to have with my father?  Or did I overstep by talking to him about it?  I’m very open with my kids, if they have questions, I’ll get them answers.  I would rather them come to me with questions rather than talking to someone else.  I hope they continue that practice all the way through school and into adulthood.  My father passed when I was 8, so I didn’t have that male figure in the household to ask or ask me about these kinds of questions.  I sure wasn’t going to ask my mom, ewww!  Besides, she bought me one of those books about puberty.  Of course, I just spanked it to the nude drawings of the woman.

I don’t see how it’s productive to tell him not to do it.  Sure, tell him not to do it in public, but he isn’t hurting anything.  Unless he strokes too hard, but then it’s his own fault anyways.  Although, he uses both hands in sports.  He may not be able to switch hands for some strange.  Poor kid!  We all have our crosses to bare.

I’ll be glad when he’s old enough to really keep it hidden.  Do I have to teach him to use a sock or is that something he learns on his own?  I never used one but to each his own.

 

I am participating in the Dude Write Starting Lineup this week where you can find some excellent posts by bloggers who happen to be dudes that masturbate.  Stop by, read them all and vote for me and 2 others.

More Randomness

Not a whole lot going on around here.  I am in the midst of my 5 12 hour days this week so I don’t have a whole lot of time.  I had yesterday and today off but I just can’t get going to do anything for this blog.  This morning, I got up and took the kids to school, then came back home and crawled back into bed.  I just couldn’t wake up.  I ended up sleeping until after 11.  I got home and my thought process was either I go back to sleep now or end up falling asleep on the couch later, I was that tired.  Don’t worry though, I never got out of my pj’s to take the kids to school.

I don’t look that cute in my Michigan pj’s though!

The kids are back in school now, in case you didn’t figure that out in the first paragraph.  So that’s less time with theEx and the JackAss so I haven’t had to deal with either of them much.  And let’s face it, I get great blog material from him.

We moved our oldest daughter into her campus apartment last weekend.  It was sad for her mother but I actually think her living on campus is a good thing for her and for her mother.  I think their relationship will be better now that they aren’t living together and getting on each other’s nerves.  And I definitely think Skyler needs to learn to be on her own.  Not to actually be on her own, because she was more or less that here, but to be actually responsible for cleaning up after herself.  The student housing is pretty awesome.  It’s more or less an apartment.  You walk in her door and it’s a small living room with a kitchen to the right.  Down the hall is 2 bedrooms and a bathroom.  She got the first bedroom and then the 2nd bedroom has a bathroom in it as well.  So both girls get their own bathrooms.  You have to be buzzed in to even get to her apartment door.  Then a lock on the apartment door and she also has a lock with a key to get into her bedroom door.  So it’s very safe and secure and we were happy about that.  It helps us feel a little better about her being on her own.  We might worry a bit more than most but she is still only 17 because she graduated from high school a year earlier.

I text her after her first day of classes and ask how it felt to officially be a college student now.  I got no response.  And that annoyed me, maybe it shouldn’t but it did.  If it was up to me, I would have got online and put it stop to all her texting.  The way I think is if I’m paying your cell phone bill, the least you could do is respond when I send you a text.  But I have no control over her, I tried to get her to respect me but I didn’t get the support that I needed.  So it is what it is.  I love her and I’ll miss her but I have to just accept the fact that since I am no longer apart of her daily life, that I will probably be in very little of it.

On the positive side, the experience got me to create my first e-card.  I thought about the wording while I was at work and created the actual card when I got home.  The other positive side with Skyler moving out is that Samantha gets her own room now.  Cheri went in and cleaned and rearranged it so it felt more like her own room.  Sam loves it.  And I love that Sam is getting a little more appreciative of Cheri.  Their relationship has gotten better in the last few months as well.  Although, I’m not sure Cheri is happy about it.  She said, she liked it better when Samantha was afraid of her because now she talks non-stop to her.  The non-stop talking does get annoying but I know it’s Samantha’s way of showing Cheri that she likes her.  And I love that my kids are finally getting along with her.  I feel like we are more of a family.  I wish Skyler would have taken to having younger siblings and then things would have been even better but I didn’t really to expect that to happen.  That’s a lot to ask from a teenager (15 at the time) to all of the sudden get thrown together with a 8 and a 6 year old.

We are going to talk to a realtor today about finding out if we can purchase a house or if we need to keep renting for a year or two until we can.  I’ve been through this process with theEx when we were together and it never ended well.  But I do better with my credit and Cheri actually contributes financially to the household.  I could never count on that with theEx.  I’m trying to be positive about it, but every time I’ve tried in the past, I’ve been shot down.  But this is the first time with Cheri, she’s made my life better, maybe she’s my lucky charm on getting a house.

So with the relationships here getting stronger, and the lack of dealing with theEx and the JackAss lately.  It’s been a good couple of weeks.  The White Sox are still in 1st place, Michigan football starts this Saturday, I’m going to my first White Sox game this year, a week from tomorrow.  Definitely doing pretty good.  Now if work didn’t suck ass, it might be even better.

Michigan Adventure, you can say that again.

So, Saturday, my wife and I volunteered to travel with the girl scouts troop and be chaperones.  So we borrowed my mom’s mini-van and drove half of them.  Only 7 girls went so it wasn’t like we were really crazy, just semi-crazy.  We went up to Michigan Adventure which is a smaller version of a Six Flags.  They have a bunch of coasters and other rides as well as a water park.  I didn’t take many pics but the girls had a blast.  I rode a few coasters and got my ass kicked.  My head bouncing back and forth between the restraints made my ears hurt.  And my shoulders are bruised from bouncing back and forth as well, on the coaster where your feet dangle.  Samantha complained about bouncing back and forth so it wasn’t that I’m just fat and huge.  Cheri rode on one and she was done, she loves riding coaster but at the rate they were banging her around, she would have been in pain after just a few.

Don’t get me wrong, we had a good time.  Better than we thought we would have.  The girls were pretty good and included us with everything.  I took Samantha on her first coaster that goes upside down.

She was a little worried but we went together.  We were standing in line and she asked me “How come your not nervous?”  Um, I’ve been on hundreds of coasters and a lot bigger ones then they have here.  Granted, it’s probably been 20 years since I’ve been on one, but you’ve been on one, you’ve been on them all.

I couldn’t get her to go on this one.

It’s one of the kind where you sit but your feet hang down.  This is the one that killed my ears and shoulders on the harness.  Only 2 girls would ride it.  So us 3 went on this one.  They sat in front of me and before we got on, I looked at them and said “No throwing up, I’m behind you and I don’t want your puke in my face”.  I’m so good with the ladies.  They laughed but not as hard as the one girl and I were laughing at the other girl when we got off the coaster.  Through the whole ride we heard. “OH JESUS!!  JESUS!!! OH JESUS!!!” on and on.  I was laughing through the whole ride because I thought it was one of them but I couldn’t tell.  When I found out it was, we made fun of her because that’s what a good chaperone does.

They ended up spending the last couple of hours in the water park.  Which of course they loved.  Cheri and I were home base.  We parked under an umbrella and the girls would come and check in with us as to their whereabouts.  I think the girls had a great day, I know Samantha did.

But the real ride that about killed my wife and I, and 3 of the girls including Samantha happened on the way home.  We were driving along in the middle of a city.  2 lanes going north, a big grassy medium, then 2 lanes going south.  The kind of city that if you want to go somewhere on the other side of the road, you have to go up to the next light and turn around.  Unless your with my wife.  We were driving along and then she yells “OH MY GOD!!!, TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND” while grabbing my arm with her nails digging in.  I immediately just cut to the left.  Grass medium be damned.  We went down in the grass and popped up on the other side, grass and dirt go flying.  We hit the edge of the other side of the road and go airborn.  After we landed I had to swing the van to the left, going up on 2 wheels.  The girls were all screaming, thank God they had their seat belts on.  I was panicking with all the girls screaming and all the horns and crashing sounds I hear around us and I flip a glance over at my wife and her tongue is out and she’s drooling with this evil look in her eyes.  I freaked out, she pointed, I turned into the parking lot and got to a spot.  We were all catching our breath and my wife is yelling at me “GIVE ME MONEY!!!!”  I offered her $7, that was all I had in cash and she said “MORE!!!”  I just said here, and through my debit card as she climbed out and ran into the building.  It’s a good thing I love her because the girls were begging me to drive away because they were so freaked out.  What did she see that turned her into a drooling monster.

Apparently, they have these in Canada and she was in love with them.  What did she go in and buy that she just had to have.  That she risked the life of myself and 3 poor innocent girls.

Yeah, donut holes.  Oh wait, I’m sorry, Timbits.  We eventually made it home with the beast satisfied.

I may have embellished the story about getting the donuts, don’t freak out and think I put all those girls in danger.  But I did feel that if I didn’t turn around that my life would have been in danger.

Insane in the Membrane, track 11

The nice thing about working the weekends is I actually get to listen to music in the morning instead of the morning shows.  Of course, it’s only a 7 minute drive to work so it’s not like I’d want to work weekends just so I could listen to 2 songs.  But I heard this song Sunday morning, and it’s one of my favorites right now.

I really love this song, I was somewhat bullied in school.  Nothing so severe like kids are getting these days.  But I was picked on until I learned the motto I live by to this day “IDGAF”.  I’ll help you out, that would be I Don’t Give A F*ck.  Once I learned that I really don’t care what everybody else thought about me, it took away their power.

Date Night and a Custom Foot Job

We ditched the kids (spent the night at a friends house) so we decided to go out for supper.  Rather than the usual fast food, we made our usual trip when they have a certain special going on.

           

I love me some shrimp and my wife knows this so she suggested going here even though she doesn’t like seafood.  So I got home from work, changed clothes (without showering because I don’t stink) and headed on out for a lovely evening.  There was a 45 minute wait but I was already craving the shrimp and couldn’t walk away.  Being the anti-social people we are, we sat in the car with the pager.  Didn’t help staying away from the people inside though because there was a drunk moron in the parking talking loudly because he locked his keys in the van.  Truth be told, I don’t know if he was drunk, I’m just giving him an excuse because he was obnoxious.  We just sat and made fun of him to ourselves, he was annoying but it didn’t bother us.

The pager goes off, then my wife has to change her pants from it scaring her, and then we head on in.  We ended up sitting next to a big group that had another obnoxious loud talker.  Laughed loudly too, only problem was, he was the only one laughing so I don’t think he was really all that funny.  Once their food came it got much quieter, but again we didn’t let it ruin our evening.

Started off with a garden salad (bleu cheese dressing please) and of course a couple of those awesome cheddar bay biscuits.  God I love those.  Then came the shrimp.  If you’ve never eaten the unlimited shrimp, your first platter comes with one side (fries) and 2 small plates of shrimp.  10 pieces per plate.  They have 4 or 5 different ways it’s cooked and you just keep order a small plate of whichever kind you want.  I started off with a plate of Garlic shrimp and a plate of some kind of parmesan shrimp.  I ended up sticking with the Garlic the rest of the night, not that I don’t enjoy the others but I really like the Garlic.  I kept it coming and nibbled on my fries between plates.  I got my fill.

So my supper ended up being a salad, a couple biscuits, fries and 80 shrimp.  I know, I slacked.  I used to eat a lot more than that till my wife came along and got me eating less food.  She taught me to stop when I was full, I didn’t use to, if it was there, I was eating it.

Afterwards, I found out the real reason she suggested Red Lobster.  She wanted to drag my ass to Walmart to grocery shop.  She played me.  Although I did get some new work boots out of it.  And that brings me to part 2 of this post.

Many many moons ago, I went to a podiatrist to get my feet looked at. They came to the recommendation that I needed custom orthotics made.  This came as no shock to me because I was already using arch support and I'm on my feet all day long at work.  On top of being on my feet all day, I have to wear steel toe boots and I spend all that time walking on a metal catwalk.  Needless to say, my feet hurt a lot.

What also didn't come to a shock to me was the insurance denied my claim for custom orthotics.  Don't even get me started on how they have the power over my doctors to judge what I need.  But somehow, they have it.  So I continued buying new arch support and cheap cushioned insoles for awhile because custom orthotics are not cheap.

Yesterday, we were at the local Walmart, although, it wasn't our usual Walmart.  I have 3 of them within an 8 mile radius but I tend to frequent the one next door to my house.  I was picking up my arch support when we saw one of those Dr. Scholl's machines that you stand on and it reads your foot.  I took my shoes off, climbed on amidst the heckling from my wife for the holey socks and let it take a reading.

It’s kind of cool, it reads how you stand amongst other things.  A picture like the one to the left is on the screen and shows it to (not my feet for you foot fetish types.)  It said I had flat arches and something else, I don’t remember.  Something about pressure on my heel and balls of my feet.  But it recommended a certain orthotic support that they had for sale.  I debated on whether I wanted to drop that kind of money on them.  It was certainly way cheaper than a real custom orthotic but also a lot more expensive then my air cushion soles and generic arch supports that I usually buy.  The wife and I discussed it and went ahead and dropped the money on them.  Sometimes I actually think she’s concerned about me at work, don’t tell her I know though.  I wore them today for the first time, they weren’t bad, definitely better than my cheapies.  I just hope they last awhile to make the money worthwhile.  I’ll keep you all updated because I know how intently you guys are concerned about my feet.

Thus ended my evening with me coming home a little after 11 and crashing in bed.  I was even too tired to whip my shrimp out for some fun so it wasn’t the kind of foot job that you thought when you read the title to this post, you pervert.  It was a nice evening though, we always enjoy our time together when there are no kids to bother us.

WTF Did They Just Say #6

I really need to change this from WTF Did They Just Say? to Reasons I Will Never Advance at my company.

That’s right, this edition is all me again.  I try to avoid people so I don’t ever hear anyone say anything for these.  First some backstory, you all know that management changed our hours to 12 hour days.  Well, specifically, it was all the plant manager’s doing.

His kids go to the school I graduated from (Penn) so I’ve seen him a few times at high school events, mostly football games.  He walks up to me and says “You going to the Penn game tonight?”  I was actually asked to go, because my family is going but had to decline for reasons you’ll see in my response below.  I looked at him and said.

“I can’t because someone dicked over my hours and I’ll be here for 12 hours.”

That would be another reason I try to avoid people, my mouth tends to get me in trouble.  He joked it off about rushing straight over after work.  But I bit my tongue on the rest of what I had to say.  If I go to the game, I get home after 10, shower, go to bed, and get up again for another 12 hours tomorrow and Sunday.  While you’ll probably be enjoying time with your family all weekend.  I know it was rough working this week when you had all of last week off but some of us can’t afford to even use our vacation days together because we don’t get paid when we use them.

I could have a lot of these if work handed them out instead of safety awards.

Kids weekend

Last Saturday, I took the kids down to a local back-to-school kids health fair where her Girl Scouts troop were offering free face painting.  While the girls did the face painting, I took the brothers of the girls over to a local park so they didn’t have to just sit there while they face painted.

   

The kids had a great time, just hanging out with other kids.  And as it seems, they painted themselves as much as other kids.

Then on Sunday, the kids and I went to the University of Michigan’s fan appreciation youth day.  Last year we hit up the garage sale in the morning and then went to the stadium in the afternoon.  This year, along with changing the name, they changed the garage sale, to the day before. It really sucked because I would have liked to pick up some t-shirts at least. Although, a fellow sports card blogger hooked me up with a shirt so at least I got one. 

Last year, we tried to get Denard Robinson’s autograph and never made it through the line before they were gone.  This year, our goal was to get a bunch of autographs.  It didn’t matter to us who because it was more for the kids.  While I do collect autograph cards of Michigan players, I wasn’t overly concerned with getting these autographs for myself.  They hand out posters as your going in and my mom grabbed those while the kids and I got into lines.  I took a crap load of pictures of the kids getting autographs but I won’t bore you with all of those.  But I do have other pics to share.

  

My kids and my brothers kids.  It was a family trip.  The first picture is outside “the Big House” waiting to get in, the 2nd one was taken while waiting in line for the autographs.

     

A shot walking into ‘the Big House”.  I don’t care for all the stuff at the bottom corner, kind of ruins the atmosphere.  That’s one of the changes when they changed it from fan appreciation day to youth day.  Oh well.  The 2nd picture was taken down on the field.

  

Trevor didn’t want to get into this picture, I told him to get in it anyways, he’d appreciate it when he got older.  Then Samantha said she wanted a picture with them because they were all so pretty.

  

Samantha got to bang on a few drums with the band members.

  

Here are the posters autographed by the players.  We told one of the players that Trevor’s birthday was on Monday so in the right picture, you can see where he put “Happy Birthday, Trevor! Go Blue” then signed it “Team 133”  The players were pretty awesome with the kids.  Asking them about school and making conversation with them.  They had a great time.

  

Samantha wanted to get my hat autographed.  She got most of them on there before running out of room.  If we do that next year, we will have to bring a silver sharpie so they can autograph on the blue as well.

It was a fun day and a fun weekend.  I’m finding with the schedule change at work and having more days off that I like to get out and do things on some days.  Before, I worked so many days that when I had a day off, I didn’t want to do anything.  I still feel that way on the weeks that I work Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  But the weeks that I only work Wednesday and Thursdays, I enjoy getting out and doing something with the kids.  Although that will stop next week when they go back to school.

MIA

I’ve been missing for a bit.  Just really haven’t been in the blogging mood.  Plus I had a busy weekend with just the kids and I.  We spent Saturday at a health fair where Samantha and her girl scout troop did free face painting.  Sunday, I took the kids up to Ann Arbor for the University of Michigan youth day (formerly fan appreciation day) where they had a blast.  They got all kinds of autographs from the players and got to go down on the field and do some things as well.

I’ve got a couple of posts floating around my head, but like I said, I’ve been kind of out of the mood to blog the past few days.  We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

All My Children

I’ve talked about my kids on this blog before, but I really only talk about 2.  So I figured I’d share the dynamic of my family.  I explain here how my wife and I met and got together but I never really discussed her kids.  I have 4 kids, technically, 2 kids and 2 step-kids.  Cheri has an 19 year old son (Chris) and a 17 year old daughter (Skyler).  I have a 10 year old daughter (Samantha) and an 8 year old son (Trevor). 

Chris moved up here when Cheri did but only stayed a month before moving back to Virginia.  I bonded with him some on my trips to Virginia and he actually surprised us when he said he was moving up here.  We both think he moved up here in search of a father figure.  He was upset with me when he moved back, said I tricked him into thinking I would be a good father.  What it came down to is when he moved up here, I had to work most everyday.  And he never asked me to do anything so we didn’t do the stuff that he wanted (bowling, throwing a football, ect).  Had he asked, I’d like to think I would have, but he never asked and I didn’t realize he was waiting for me to ask.  So Chris and I really don’t have a relationship, we’ve been around each other since and everything is fine but we just don’t have a relationship.  He didn’t really give me much of a chance.  I still worry about him.  He’s a really good kid with a really good heart but he’s lost and will be until he matures.  I worry that he doesn’t have any really good influences around him.  Luckily, he doesn’t have any bad influences either.  He just needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life instead of living off others.  He’s going through some medical issues as well, we think he will have those licked in a few months as soon as he has a surgery.  It’s not necessarily a major surgery but with previous health issues, it could very well become a major surgery.  Being as he still lives in Virginia, I doubt I will ever have much, if any relationship with him.  But we will see.

Skyler also moved up here when Cheri did but eventually moved back down to Virginia as well.  But there were some issues and we went down and picked her up and brought her back home with us and she’s been with us since.  She’s been here over a year now, close to a year and a half.  Her and I have more of a relationship but being as I didn’t really come into her life until she was 15, it isn’t a strong one.  She respects me for the most part and we rarely fight but I get frustrated when her and her mom fight.  She came up here, graduated high school a year early and is starting college in a few weeks.  She’s a smart girl and her mind is very quick, which tends to get her in trouble.  She, like most teenagers, also, just needs to grow up.  One minute she wants none of our help because she’s old enough to do it herself, the next minute she asking for money because she doesn’t want to spend hers on going out to eat.  Like I said, a typical teenager.  But we’ve had a lot of good times too.  When she’s just being herself and hanging out with us, she’s great.  She’s funny, smart and when she dresses normal instead of “hipster”, she’s very beautiful.  We have a decent relationship, we’ve had some good talks and we joke around with each other.  I’ve told her that I think of her as my daughter, I doubt I’ll ever hear her call me dad or even admit I’m a father figure in her life, but I do love her as my own and I want what is best for her.  Now if I could get her to realize that what she wants and what is best for her are 2 different things.

Samantha is starting 5th grade in a few weeks.  Which is one year removed from Jr. High, which scares the crap out of me.  She’s growing up so fast.  But she is a daddy’s girl still so I haven’t lost her yet.  But wait until she gets older and it gets easier to embarrass her, then we’ll revisit that.  I worry because she is going to start getting into the teenage girl mode, which is where I’ll lose her.  She’s already had some teenage drama with a few friends and I am so not ready for that.  I’ve tried to raise her to not care what other people think about her.  But her doing that and thinking that are 2 different things.  I really am not ready for all the emotional stuff that comes with raising a girl.  She still loves to play sports though, maybe that will knock that emotional stuff out of her.  I can dream.

Trevor is where I really worry.  Remember how I don’t like emotional, well, he’s emotional.  And he’s a lot like I was at that age.  And I was picked on all through school.  The teacher’s say they love him, he sits and does his work, doesn’t bother other kids, and as a matter fact, they say he will go up to other kids who need help without asking.  He’s just in his own little world and I’m afraid that will alienate him as he gets older.  Actually, I know it will because that’s what I did.  He is way too laid back, which he also gets from me.  So much that he just doesn’t care if he can swim or ride a bike without training wheels.  I worry about him the most.  But I worried about him the most going into school as far as grades go and he’s is above average in most everything he does.  So maybe the worry is unwarranted.  But I’m his father, it’s my job to worry.

So that’s my kids.  They are a blessing and a curse.  All I want to know is, how did I go from not wanting any kids to having 4 of them?  I must be out of my mind.

What the Hell are you watching? vol. 1

I decided on a new series for the blog called What the Hell Are You Watching?  Basically, I took pictures of my series priority pages on my DVR and we’ll go through them.  I’ll post the pictures at random because most of the top priorities are the first ones listed because they only show once, usually the local networks.  Then all the cable network stuff is listed next because they replay them all the time.  We record so many shows that some days and times there are 4 shows on my list but it’s only a dual tuner DVR, which means I can only record 2 shows at a time.  It almost always works out that a couple of them are on cable networks and they replay them right after or a few hours after.  If not, I catch the episode online or on demand.

I’ll admit, I watch a lot of TV.  Some say that takes me away from time with my kids or stuff like that.  Well that’s the advantage of a DVR.  I do watch a lot of TV, but I watch it on my time.  Which means I don’t turn down things to do just because something is on TV that night.

So let’s get to it, I’ll random the photos and pick 2.  The series priority doesn’t necessarily mean it’s my favorite show.  It’s just in order of what series I told the DVR to record first.

#81 – So You Think You Can Dance – This is actually my wife’s show.  I do watch some of them when there aren’t any of the shows I watch on the DVR.  Otherwise, my wife watches it when I’m at work.  Definitely not a priority on my list.

#82 – Hatfields & McCoys – I guess I can delete that one since it was a 3 night event and then it was over.  But it was an awesome mini-series, I forget what they called it, but it’s essentially a mini-series.  My wife even loved this series, she was actually the one that told me to record it because she had seen a preview for it.

#83 – Gene Simmons Family Jewels – This is my wife’s as well.  Although, in most cases it gets watched while I’m at home.  I do enjoy the show, I thought it was going to be a pretty typical rock star life but it is actually a very interesting show.  Gene has a big heart whether he wants to admit it or not.  Plus, it has Shannon Tweed in it.  I watched all her soft-core porn stuff before I was old enough to watch real porn.  Brings back memories of spanking it to Cinemax after dark.

#84 – Keeping up With the Kardashians – This is another one of my wife’s.  I am guilty of watching it sometimes.  I mainly stare at their boobs, shake my head at Kris and feel bad for Bruce.  Definitely wouldn’t want to have any part of that family.  Don’t tell my wife, but Scott is growing on me.  He doesn’t care how he acts where as everyone else is playing up to the camera’s.  I used to think it was the other way around.

Summary – You’ll notice on the high numbers, a lot of them will be my wife’s shows because most of what she watches is on cable channels.

#53 – Beyond Scared Straight – If you haven’t seen this, see it.  They take at-risk teenagers to prisons and actually show them what it’s like.  They get walked in around the prisoners and some of them even have one-on-one with the prisoners.  It’s always great to see the bad ass kid cry his eyes out by the time he leaves.  It helps some, but not all.  Most teenagers are too stupid to learn from other people, if they could, they would listen to their parents more.

#54 – Jerseylicious – Yeah, that would be my wife’s.  I don’t know that I’ve even seen the show.  It would be one of those shows that if she watches it while I’m home, then I completely ignore the TV.  I have no desire to watch these.

#55 – Switched at Birth – My wife and I both like this show.  It’s about 2 kids that were switched at birth.  Everyone finds out and it’s about everyone getting along and trying to be a family.  But, one family is rich, the other is poor.  One daughter is deaf, the other is not.  It’s an interesting show, better than I made it sound.

#56 – Tori & Dean/Home Sweet Hollywood – Another one I don’t watch.

Summary - Guess I should have named this series What the Hell is Your Wife watching?  There are a total of 96 shows that get recorded, I watch 59.  So over half is mine, the random just didn’t do well.  Look at this way, we knocked off a bunch of wife shows right off the top.  Stay tuned for vol. 2

Weekly Catch-up

My Weekly Catch-Up post.

 

August 1st.  A semi-nude shot of me.  Or am I nude?  My wife tagged me in this picture from the pool.

August 1st.  If you know me, then you know why I posted this.

August 3rd.  It pretty much says it all.

August 4th.  This is exactly how I feel.

As you can tell, I don’t generally post much as far as status’, although I usually have 1 or 2 in a week.  I generally post positive stuff, once in awhile negative, and this week has been a bunch of negative so I’ve been pretty quiet.

August 6th.  Yeah, today.  I told you I was keeping my mouth shut all week.

August 5th.  This was my last half an hour at work yesterday.  Got done early, so I headed outside, where it wasn’t as hot, and finished my book on my Kindle.

So a not so busy week on the web for myself.

Not another Chick-Fil-A post

Check this video out.  It’s our local news doing a story.  Ignore the ad at the beginning, couldn’t cut that out.

Ok, now that you’ve seen it, do you know why I posted it?  Well because the gay guy talking is my daughter’s boyfriend and the really hairy guy is friends with them both.  Oh, and neither are gay (even though they dress like it).  But they got interviewed and it made it on air.

That’s hilarious!

Does a Superhero have BO?

Admit it, we all wanted to be superheroes when we grew up.  We all wanted to have a superpower too.  You know, something that made you special.  Something you could do that nobody else could.  Well, here I am, pushing 40 and I finally figured out my superpower.  I don’t stink.  Wait, what?  Yes, it’s true, I don’t stink.  I’ve told you before how hot it is at work and even though I sweat my ass off, I don’t come home smelling like BO.  Maybe that should be my name “NoBOman”.  Maybe not.

I may come home smelling like chemicals, but not BO.  Wait, maybe that’s how I got my superpower.  Yeah, I was at work when I stumbled and fell into an anodizer (sulfuric acid) and it took all my stench glands.  When I finally got out of the hospital, I stumbled onto a robbery in progress.  I noticed I was sweating profusely.  So I jumped in the middle of the robbers and threatened to do jumping jacks so my BO would knock them out and they got scared.  They whispered amongst themselves “look at all that sweat, if he spreads his arms and legs, I’m not sure we’ll survive.” “I told you we should have worn gas masks instead of hello kitty masks” “Why don’t me just shoot him” “What if his blood stinks as bad as his BO, seriously, look at all that sweat.”  They eventually gave up and thus “StinkFreeman” was born.  Maybe not.

But seriously, I haven’t worn deodorant since I was in school, and that was only because I was told I was supposed to.  I could go days without showering and nobody would even notice.  Don’t worry, I generally shower most days, but I’m just saying, I seriously wouldn’t have to.  Now, back when I had hair, you could tell if I didn’t shower because of my hair, but now that I shave half and went bald on half.  I could totally get away with it.

My arch enemy would be some chick who wears too much perfume.  It’s like my kryptonite.  Someone walks by now and I about pass out.  She had a chemical spill herself so she can’t smell things so she’s not afraid of what all that sweat may smell like.  But if I get my hands on her and give her a huge sweaty hug, she goes limp until she can spray more perfume.  Then I pass out until the smell dies down, and hug her until she passes out.  It’s a vicious circle.  I definitely see multiple movies “the Sweaty Knight rises.”  Or not.

Only my love interest will know the truth, that I don’t really stink.  And that a sweaty girl turns me on.  Nothing better than some sweaty cleavage.  Oh wait, sorry, was getting into my character.  Yeah, my character thinks that.  My character “Sir Not So Stinky” thinks that.  Or not.

So I can’t think of my superhero name, but I got a superpower damn it.

 

I am participating in the Dude Write Starting Lineup this week where you can find some excellent posts by bloggers who happen to be dudes.  Stop by, read them all and vote for me and 2 others.