Tuesday, October 21, 2014

theEx and Jackass return

It’s been awhile because not too much has happened but it has hit the fan now.  A couple of weeks ago, theEx and the JackAss had taken the kids to Michigan City to the outlet mall.  I received a text from Samantha asking me to come get her and Trevor because the JackAss had gotten out of his wheelchair and chased Trevor in the middle of a store threatening to kick his ass.  So we drove all the way out (an hour or so) and picked them up and brought them home.  TheEx claimed she never saw it but the kids say she was standing right there when it happened.

The next day, TheEx had texted Samantha about it.  I’m not going to post screen caps (I do have them) but it’s not my conversation so I don’t feel I have the right to and I’m not going to ask but I will tell you what it said in my own words.

  • theEx asked why she didn’t come to her instead of texting me.
  • Samantha said she was scared and wasn’t thinking then apologized.
  • theEx asked if she thought the JackAss would hurt her or Trevor.
  • She responded with maybe.
  • theEx said you know he would never hurt you and asked what I was going to do about it.
  • Sam responded with he’s not going to do anything but gave us the option of only going over every other weekend.  She also told her she wanted to see her but the JackAss gets in the way.
  • theEx says that they can stay with me until she decides what to do with the JackAss.  Explains that she doesn’t know what she’s going to do as far as getting a divorce or not and admits to them not getting along and then asked if she would like it if she wasn’t with the JackAss anymore.
  • Sam responds with if that’s what you want, it’s your life but they don’t feel safe around him.
  • theEx asked why.
  • She says he threatens us a lot.
  • theEx asked if she’d be willing to give him another chance.
  • Sam says no.

After that, nothing.  Until the next day when the JackAss sent a text from theExes phone, pretending to be her.  It said, and I quote (except his name) “JackAss and I are  staying together.and if u don’t like tobad.he makes me happy.’' As you can tell, it isn’t hard to tell when he’s texting.  TheEx may be spineless but she can spell and use punctuation.

After that text, I sent this conversation.


Then nothing for over a week.  The kids stayed with me the following weekend and then on Tuesday of the next week, theEx text Samantha and said that she was taking the JackAss to a doctor’s appointment on Friday but she would pick them up on Saturday for the rest of the weekend.  I talked to both of the kids about their feelings about going back.  Trevor said he’d go back and Samantha said she didn’t want to.  So I sent her a text saying she could pick Trevor up but Samantha doesn’t want to go.  She just responded with ok, I’ll text when we’re back in town. She didn’t even ask about Samantha not coming.

She started to text Samantha again last Saturday asking if she was willing to be around the JackAss, Samantha said she would as long as she got to see her.  TheEx then told her that she would have to leave her phone here and not bring it over there.  Samantha then decided that she didn’t want to go over there anymore.  Samantha got upset and was crying.  She ended up blocking both of their numbers when the JackAss started texting her.

Sunday, I get a phone call from Trevor, I answered, he basically said mom wants to talk to you.  She gets on the phone and asks to talk to Samantha.  I assume that was all set up because they believe that I wouldn’t take a call from her.  I called her out of her room and told her that her mom was on the phone and she said she didn’t want to talk to her.  So I told her, and she said she had been texting her but she’s not answering so I told her that she blocked both of their numbers on Saturday when the JackAss started texting her.

I ended up talking with Samantha after I hung up with her and basically told her that she needs to at least tell her mom why she’s not talking to her.  I asked if she wanted me to arrange a sit down with her and her mom, she said no.  I asked if she wanted Cheri and/or I to sit down with her and her mom.  No.  So I suggested her writing a note and we would get it to her and she said she would.

About half an hour later she came out with a piece of paper.  I assumed it would be about a paragraph but it was a full page and a half.  It was very well written, she explained how much she disliked him and brought up what he does to make theEx miserable.  I was seriously impressed with it, well thought out and worded nicely.  She even said she wanted to be there on Friday to give it to her.

That’s basically where we stand now.  I’m sure I’m getting blamed for Samantha’s lack of communication, but I really don’t have anything to do with it. She has been making her own decisions the whole way.


  1. Can you not completely stop the visits?? Maybe the kids need you to make this decision for them. Or are they court ordered?

    1. State law requires me to give her a minimum of every other weekend and one day during the week unless I can prove her unfit which is damn near impossible. They won't consider listening to the kids until they are 14.

    2. That is crazy! Kids should be able to say whether they want to spend time there or not. I have legal guardianship of my grandchildren and they don't want to see their parents at all and the parents are not kicking up a fuss of any kind. Guess I am lucky there

    3. I'm lucky to even have custody, even as a crappy parent she is, if she came after custody I would probably lose them because she is their mother. In the courts eyes, all father's are deadbeats.

  2. If they are not comfortable or feel threatened then they shouldnt have to go, and if Samantha is told she can come but not allowed to bring her phone then there is a problem.

    It's a tough one Buddy, been there done that and no matter what, just do as you are and keep your kids safe, a sit down with everyone involved in a neutral place like a public restaurant would be a good way to get all the cards on the table.

    Getting off the subject here I have a new address for my blog, http://jimsop.blogspot.com/ , drop by and follow along again if you like. Jimmys Opinion

    1. Shouldn't have to and being court ordered are 2 different things. They have to be 14 for the court to even consider their opinions which neither are. We've suggested a sit down but nobody else wants to do it.

      I added your new blog to my Feedly so I'll read it.