Let's start this letter off with what triggered it to begin with. After court the other day, you sent me a text saying that I have to follow the custody agreement that says we have to meet half way on your weekends. First off, like I told you on the phone, I find it highly hypocritical that you think I have to follow the custody agreement when you don't. That same agreement says you have to pay child support, which you haven't for 3 years. Secondly, I know what the law says, you were the one who didn't. I didn't say I wouldn't meet you half way because you weren't paying support. I just took advantage of the fact that you're not that bright. I didn't have a problem meeting you half way until you moved 2 hours away from your children to begin with. If it was for a job or something, I would understand but it was because that's what your husband wanted. To be closer to his family (not kids.)
I remember when we were together and we used to shake our head at the deadbeat parents that we knew. We couldn't believe the things they were doing to their children. Guess what? You have become one of those. What the hell happened to you? You were the one that wanted kids so bad and now you don't even take care of them. Other than spending every other weekend with them, you do absolutely nothing to take care of their needs.
Do you know who does? I do. The person that you think is an asshole and that is damaging your relationship with your kids, specifically your daughter. I'm not "turning her against you", you are. She sees you for what you are and I'm sorry that you can't face that. She knows who just paid for her drivers ed, she knows who will help her get a car and help her with her insurance. She knows that her stepmom (who she calls mom on occasion) will be there to help her pick out her prom dresses and anything else she needs help with. That's why she refers to us as her parents to anyone that asks. Not her dad and stepmom, her parents. She knows which parents are always there when she needs something. Don't be blind, she still loves you, you're her mom. She has just lost all respect for you.
That all started to fall apart when you married your current husband. Not that they hated that you got remarried, but the fact that you wouldn't protect them or stand up for them when he talked bad about them. You didn't stand up for your son when he was calling him names. You let him order them around and make them do everything in the small amount of time they had to spend with you. Sure, they can tolerate him more now because he's not as much as a dick as he was before, but that doesn't mean they have forgotten. They know which parent drove an hour and a half to pick them up at a mall because he went after your son.
What I really want to know though, is why you think you are above all of us working people? You have never wanted to work (nobody really does.) That was probably our greatest crutch when we were married. Did you not see a problem when we went to do our taxes one year and you had 13 different W2's? Do you remember when we used to talk bad about those people who lived off the system? Those who used to pop kids out for more welfare and then not take care of the them? Guess who has become that person now? You filed for disability because of joint pain? Seriously? We're in our 40's, we all have joint pain. You've never wanted to work and this is your way of getting out of it. Thank God the kids have me to look up to for a stable work influence. They see at least one parent that goes to work every day, regardless if he is sick or not, in order to provide for them. What absolutely kills me is how your father would feel about this. He was a hard worker who worked through all his aches and pains and the person you probably looked up to the most and you have become the complete opposite.
After all that, I got an email today that said you have filed for a Motion to Modify Support. You want to lower your child support payments? You already pay less than most people pay for 1 child and you have 2. I don't really care what they make the support payments because I haven't seen anything anyways so all you're doing is making less of an impact each week on what you owe. Personally, I don't know why the courts are even letting you take me back since you haven't paid in so long. Then again, the system has been in your favor ever since we separated. Even though I'm the custodial parent, I'm still the father and the system is set up for you to win.
I'm not saying I'm the perfect parent, I'm far from it. The difference is, I know what my flaws are, where you apparently have none. The difference is, I'm there for my kids, financially and personally. The difference is, I have provided a stable home environment for my kids, you've moved at least 10 times in the last 7 years. The difference is, I'm here, each and every day for our kids. They don't hear from you until they get the text every 2 weeks asking if they are coming over.
It's a shame that the courts are even entertaining a motion to modify support while the support is so far behind, doesn't make sense to me but like you said they aren't exactly fair to the Dads in most cases.
ReplyDeleteTotally unfair! But hold to the fact that your kids know who is the one that is there for them!
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