I love Christmas. I always have but this year, I'm really looking forward to it. Not because of the gifts, not because I'll get to see the majority of my family, not even all the time I'll get off of work (well, maybe that's some of it). Christmas to me is a joyful time (not to sound all Hallmarky) for me.
People are generally in a better mood (and I hate people). They come together more for this holiday than any others. A lot more people get into the decorations. It might even have to do with the religious aspect of it because of my religious background but I don't really celebrate it that way. Either way, it's just a feeling I get. A feeling of happiness and togetherness. It doesn't hurt that my wife does a lot more baking at this time of the year so I get to come home from a rough day at work and the house smells wonderful.
It's been a rough couple of months for me as my best friend has ceased pretty much all communication with me and won't really tell me why. With most anyone, I could have just walked away and said whatever but she has a lot of her own personal issues and I worry about her. I should be able to step away because half my thoughts go to well she hasn't cared about me at all in that time. Hasn't asked how I was doing, what's going on, ect. It should be easy, but I can't just walk away. She's had a crap life and I just can't put me abandoning her on top of all that. So I jump back and forth between missing her and being angry at her. It's been a rollercoaster of a last couple of months.
Work has been a little rough as well, not only the usual BS that I have to deal with on a daily basis but work was where we met and got to know each other, so it's a daily reminder that she's gone. Although these days, I appreciate going into work a little more because it keeps my mind a lot more occupied to where I don't think about her nearly as much.
So with my rollercoaster of emotions for a little bit now, I'm looking forward to the joyous time of the year. For those that don't know, I have Christmas songs on my playlists that I listen to all the time. They always put me in a good mood when they come on, even in the middle of July. Now when they pop up, I can really use the cheering up and now that we are in November, it just reminds me how close we are. It's also the time of the year that people release new Christmas albums and I go through new releases every weekend so I'm even hearing an album here or there.
To be honest, because I listen to Christmas music all year round, in small doses, I rarely just play all Christmas music. I can see myself listening to my Christmas playlist a lot more this year. I've actually thought about playing it on my way home from work a few times already but I didn't. I didn't break the seal yet. We'll see if I last until after Thanksgiving.
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