Monday, January 28, 2013

Kids and Social Media

My daughter brought home a letter from the school today.  Saying that there has been some instance’s of cyber bullying coming to light.  In the freaking 5th grade.  The letter was long, posted some rules about electronic devices but basically it said that parent’s need to monitor their kids better when it comes to Social Media.  While I do agree with the intent behind the letter.  I really want to send the principle an e-mail and say I realize that there is only so much the school can do and I’m not against what the letter said, but let’s face it, most parents don’t care what their kids are doing online as long they are entertained and out of their hair.

My daughter has a Facebook account and has limited access to the internet at home.  The access has parental controls as well as I get an e-mail telling me every website she has visited which is mostly just Facebook.  And as far as the Facebook account goes, she doesn’t know the email or password associated with the account.  So she can only access it when Cheri and I are around.  And every notification she gets on it is also emailed to me.  Almost all of her friends are family members and I’ve even had to hide 1 of them because she’s early 20’s and tends to cuss a lot.  She does have a few friends from school, but not many.  All friend request go through me which means I look at their accounts after approval and before I let her look.  I approved one friend that after I approved her, I checked her wall a week or so later and there was sexual like content plus her profile pic had the F word in it twice.  I posted about that here.  She was defriended immediately and I’ve had to turn down friend requests from her more than once.  She doesn’t know the word no, I’m guessing.

Since then, I’ve been to this girls house and seen that she lives with her grandparents and an uncle while her father stays out back in some sort of shed.  She has her own laptop and cellphone.  At freaking 10 years old.  I understand it’s probably real hard for the grandparents to raise this kid but you can’t let them do whatever you want either.  I’ve already told Samantha that I won’t even discuss a cellphone until at least 13 and that’s just discussing it, that’s not a yes your getting one.  It doesn’t help that the school system that my kids go to is in a rich kind of area.  So a lot of the kids parents can afford to give their kids the nicer things.  If you go to the high school, you’ll see all kinds of Beamers and Mercedes in the parking lot.  They are spoiled beyond belief.  I sent them to this school system because it’s the best in the area, academically and athletically.  It’s also the high school I graduated from.  But anytime there is a school function, Cheri and I just feel out of place.  While we are still considering a house in this school system, it is not at the top of our list anymore.  There’s more issues I have with it but I’m getting off track.

These kids that got caught, or told on, I don’t really know what happened, on Instagram.  Which means they probably all had cell phones.  The school’s rules basically leave it up to the teacher to post the rules of the classroom.  They are allowed to have them at school as long as they aren’t disruptive and if a teacher says he doesn’t want to see them, then they have to be put away.  I think the school rules at that age should be no cell phones out period.  You can have them on you and have them out at lunch and recess but any other time in the school they should be put away.  At this age, all after school activities are planned from this time, to this time.  You know what time to pick up your kid.  There is no need for a cell phone to call a parent when practice is over.  Junior High, maybe.  Elementary, no.

I can’t believe I’m actually having to deal with this stuff already.  I thought I’d at least get her to Junior High before this became an issue.  What makes this worse, was I had planned on posting a post about my Social Media Addiction.  I guess I had this coming.

6 comments:

  1. Our child is 32 so this isn't an issue. I can't imagine what it would be like having a child these days and having to navigate all of this stuff. Andy Taylor never had to deal with this nonsense with Opie.

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    1. It sucks and my kids aren't really even old enough to really get into yet either. Although my daughter is close.

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  2. Great post. At age 8, my oldest has an iPod and he DOES use Instagram, but I monitor it closely. The best thing we can do as parents is remain vigilant, especially when other kids' parents aren't.

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    1. I don't understand why a parent wouldn't want to monitor their kids social accounts. There is so much stuff out there easily accessible. Keep up the good parenting.

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  3. This is a really interesting issue. I find it becomes more and more prevalent as social media becomes more pervasive. My kids are 7 & 4 and we just got them a kindle for games. It has internet access, but they do not have access to it. Their time to play is limited, and what they can access (games/videos/books all loaded) is limited. We debated even getting it for them for the fear of the online factor, but the parental restrictions are pretty amazing. I can not imagine having to have the cell phone/laptop/facebook conversation, but I know it's coming soon. And it will be because "all my friends have it!!" I have a niece who is 11. She friend requested me on FB when she was 9. I accepted, but then unfriended her, because sometimes I post things that are NOT kid appropriate, but the rest of the family still has her on there. I think it's too young. That's just my opinion. I might change once my kid is a couple years older. Who knows.

    Good for you for keeping good tabs. That is just good parenting. A skill which unfortunately seems in short supply.

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    1. My daughter has the new DS and I blocked internet on it. As far as she knows it doesn't have it. I'm not sure how long that will continue. I do limit time on my laptop, mainly because I want it back and they are limited on their video games. They come out and tell me when they are getting on the PS2 and I tell them in an hour that it's time to get off.

      My oldest is 10 and while she does like Facebook, she doesn't really have any "friends" yet, mostly family so I don't really have to watch her like a hawk. I get an e-mail every week telling me what sites she's visited and about the only time she goes off facebook is to find a new cover photo.

      She goes over to friends house and I tell her if your doing something that you can't do sitting next to me then you need to just walk away.

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